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Ascended Master MORE through Kim Michaels, June 8, 2024. This dictation was given at a Deep Healing Retreat Conference in Tallinn, Estonia.

I AM the Ascended Master MORE, and you may say: “What does the First Ray have to do with healing?”

Suppression and denial in the three higher bodies

Well, the First Ray is normally seen as the ray of will, willpower. And in order to be healed, in a universe where free will reigns supreme, you have to have the will to be healed. You have to make a decision to be healed. And this can, for many people, present quite a challenge. Now, as we have already talked about, there are all these mechanisms that can come up. People can take on various roles. You can go into separation and build all kinds of identities there as a separate being. And when you go into separation and duality, you will be in conflict with other people who are in duality. And therefore, you will have unpleasant experiences that will lead to unpleasant feelings and if you cannot find a way to avoid the situation, the feelings can become so intense you cannot live with the feelings, so you suppress them. And then, as we have explained, the energies accumulate, carry over to the physical body, and now you have a physical disease that you cannot suppress, you cannot ignore, as you could ignore the feelings.

You might say that suppression, denial, starts at the identity level. You create a sense of identity that is denying and suppressing something. This is fairly easy to do at the identity level, so it can be easy enough to ignore the need to change your sense of identity. Then at the mental level, it is still fairly easy to create all these beliefs, including belief systems that are based on denial, that you do not have to change, you do not have to look at yourself in order to be saved. You just have to keep believing in Christ. It is still easy to maintain it. And even at the emotional level, you can suppress the feelings. But it is more difficult to suppress feelings than thoughts. For many people, the feelings eventually become so intense they cannot ignore it. But of course, at the physical level, there is, in a sense, it is easy to suppress, because from the time you start suppressing at the three higher bodies, and until this suppressed energy manifests as a physical disease, there is a delay. You can suppress for many years and get away with it. But then as you get older, suddenly a physical disease manifests, and now you have the opposite effect, that once it has broken through in the physical, it also takes longer to overcome it.

The fundamental decision to make

You might say that your four lower bodies, in a way, is a system for helping you come to the point where you stop denying, you stop suppressing, and you say: “I am willing to look at myself, to look at what I can change.” But the difficulty that comes into this is that many people, with the help of the fallen beings of course, have built structures in their individual minds and in the collective mind that prevent you from manifesting that will. Or, if you summon the will, it prevents you from carrying it out. And this ties in with what Mother Mary so magnificently explained about how you can disconnect from your I AM Presence and you can create these structures in your mind, these roles, and it will seem like once you have taken on the role, there are certain things you just cannot do: You are a human being, and there are certain things you cannot do. You have to continue to play the role.

What is this, these roles that people have defined on earth? Many of these roles have been defined by the fallen beings who had the deliberate intent to prevent you from manifesting the willpower to change. What are these roles? In a sense, an excuse for not taking responsibility for yourself, and not making the fundamental decision that you need to make on earth. What is that decision or rather, many decisions? What is it you are here to decide? What did Mother Mary explain? You are here to decide: “What kind of being do I want to be?” You have self-awareness, you have free will. Your basic decision is: “What kind of a being do I want to be?”

Roles with a Catch-22

Now, it is very understandable that when you first start out, or rather I should say when we first start out, because I have of course faced the same dilemma, we are not ready to decide with total freedom what we want to be and do not want to be. Because we start with a very localized sense of self, and we just cannot handle total freedom to decide what kind of beings we want to be. That is why we are put in a predefined, structured environment where there are certain predefined roles that we can take on for a while. We can try them out, we can have this experience, we can say: “Yeah, maybe I have had enough of this, I want to step out of it.” But these roles that are defined on a natural planet, they are not the kind of roles I am talking about that you find on earth, because they do not form that catch-22. Because on a natural planet you can play a certain role and then you can say: “I have had enough of it.” But there is nothing in the role that prevents you from then stepping out of that role and perhaps stepping into another one. But on earth, many roles have been defined by the fallen beings based on the duality consciousness. And they do create, or they are based on, this catch-22. Once you are in the role, it seems like you cannot leave it.

And how have they achieved this? By first creating all of this conflict by deliberately attacking people, by deliberately putting people down so it seems like you are damned if you do, you are damned if you don’t. Because it seems like whatever choices you make, you are going to be wrong, so many people have gone into thinking it is safer not to make choices. The fallen ones, as the second level of their attack, have created all of these roles that make it seem like there are certain choices you just cannot make because you are a human being, you are a woman, you are a Muslim, you are a Russian, you are an American. All of these roles, many more than I mentioned here of course, some not very specific, but they all have one purpose: to give people an excuse for not making a decision to change. And first of all, to give people an excuse for not leaving the role behind. You can go over Mother Mary’s dictation again with the perspective I am giving you, and you will see that what she was trying to take you to was this realization that whatever role you have taken on that you are in now, you can leave it behind at any time.

The role as an excuse

But how do you leave it behind? Well, you have to make the choice. But so many of these roles project at you that you cannot make that choice. You are not allowed to make that choice. You are not supposed to make that choice. It is not spiritual to make that choice. And what does it do? Well, for many avatars who came to earth with the best of intentions, myself included, we were attacked, put down, hammered down, as Nada said, by the fallen beings, to where we felt like: “We better not make any choices because they always turn out to be wrong.” The roles give us an excuse for not manifesting the willpower: “Oh, I’m a fundamentalist Christian. I just have to declare Jesus to be my Lord and Savior, and I’m guaranteed to go to heaven. I don’t have to make any other choice but that.” “Oh, I’m an ascended master student. I just have to do three hours of violet flame a day, and I’m guaranteed to make my ascension after this lifetime. I don’t have to make any other choice than that. And first of all, I don’t have to make the choice to look at what is happening in my own subconscious mind, to look at the beam in my own eye. I don’t have to do this.” Or even: “I’m an ascended master student, and I’m here to help manifest Saint Germain’s Golden Age. I don’t really have to tune into my Presence and see if my Presence is ready to ascend, and therefore, I would have to muster the will to ascend. But I don’t have to do that because I can postpone it. Maybe sometime in the future, but not now.”

The choice to be healed

Again, you have free will. I am not trying to influence your choices here. I am not trying to tell you what to choose, but I am telling you one thing. If you want to be healed of any condition, physical, psychological, you must come to a point where you make a choice to be healed because it will not happen automatically, no matter what system of healing you adopt. No matter what you let someone talk you into believing it will not happen without a decision. And only you, the Conscious You, can make that decision.

All of you have these subconscious selves that are projecting at you, excuses for not making these life-changing decisions. I have no problem whatsoever with a Conscious You making any decision you make that is conscious. But when the Conscious You allows a subconscious self to give you an excuse for not making the decision, then I, as the Chohan of the First Ray must say: “Stop! And think! Become conscious!” Is this really what you want? Do you want to continue having this condition, be it physical or psychological? Do you actually want to be healed? Or do you want to continue having a condition that serves as an excuse for not making the choices of what kind of being you want to be, even here on earth? “Do I want to be an ill being, a crippled being, or do I want to be whole and healed?” I know, as Raphael explained at the very beginning, there are certain conditions that cannot be healed. But I also know there are many conditions that can be healed, many more than what most people can accept with the outer mind. But it is the subconscious selves that prevent you from accepting that healing is possible.

And therefore, what is my task, as the Chohan of the First Ray, is to shake you a little bit so that you make the first decision. Will you stop hoping for some miracle from outside yourself so you will be healed? Or will you make the decision that you, the Conscious You, are willing to become conscious, conscious of whatever subconscious selves you have that caused your condition, physical or psychological, to be manifest? And then make the decision, do you want to continue to have this subconscious self? Are you willing to look at it and decide: “I want to be more than this”?

We are the ascended masters. We know that so many people on earth, whenever we say the word healing, they automatically associate it with miracle. Some outer miracle is going to come in and heal you. But it was not some outer force that caused your condition. It was your inner reaction. It may have been forced by outer condition, but it was still your inner reaction. And therefore, you chose to create those selves and to accept those limitations and to suppress your feelings and to accept certain beliefs and even a certain sense of identity. You chose it.

No ascended master can override your free will. No ascended master wants to override your free will. I do not want to override your free will. I just want your will to be free. And for that to happen, you must start by becoming conscious, looking, you must make the decision you are willing to look and you are willing to see these selves that limit you and you are willing to decide: “I don’t want to be that kind of being anymore. I want to be more than this.” Then we can help you. And we will. But we will not manifest the miracle. But what have we said? Wholeness is your natural condition. You pulled yourself away from wholeness. And a way to get back to wholeness is not to pull yourself or push yourself back, but to stop pulling away, resolving the selves that pull you away. And then you will naturally return. What did Mother Mary demonstrate with the exercise? You have the Conscious You that has a natural tendency to rise towards the Presence. When the Conscious You stops allowing the outer mind, the subconscious self, to pull you away from the Presence, you naturally rise back towards the Presence. You just have to resolve what pulls you away.

Idolatry as an excuse

Now, when you are a new being in embodiment on a planet like earth, you may have, at the level of the Conscious You, even at the level of the I AM Presence, a desire to have certain experiences or to do certain things that you can do on earth. And therefore, at that stage you have this desire, even at the level of the Conscious You, to pull away from the Presence, to go into these experiences, to pull away from wholeness. But when you come to the point where you are a spiritual being, you have transcended that. Or have you? Do you still have some selves you are dragging along with you that are pulling you away from wholeness? Well, of course you do, otherwise you would be in wholeness already and I would not need to stand here and talk to you. You all do, we all did, but what one has done all can do.

And I can tell you that despite the idolatry directed at me from a previous ascended master dispensation, I do not have an over-inflated sense of self. I look back at my many lifetimes on earth and I see that if there is a mistake that could be made, well I made it. The fact that I have ascended should not be a source of idolatry as it was in a previous dispensation. You should instead be saying: “Well, if this guy could do it, so can I.” That is what I want you to think. I do not want you to think El Morya was so special because he had this embodiment or that embodiment. But I also have certain embodiments where I did some really, really crazy things. Do you think that, as Akbar the Great, I saw it as my role to conquer my enemies, and when we had had a battle I had the heads chopped off the enemies and the heads were stacked in pyramids at the entrance to the conquered city? Do you not think that was a crazy stunt, to use a modern expression? Most of you have not done anything like that. Get rid of this idolatry. Look at this self and say: “Why do I have a self that idolizes the ascended masters? Oh, could it be that the more special the master is, the more I have an excuse for not following his example, for not making the decision that El Morya Master MORE made? No, El Morya was so special, he could make that decision. But poor little old me, I just cannot do it. I am not special enough.”

Just let the self go!

Well, how special do you have to be to let go? It requires no special skill. You just let go. But letting go is not a miracle, it does not happen automatically. What do you have to do to let go? You have to make a decision. For God’s sake, how else can you let go? And how do you make the decision to let go? By becoming conscious of the decision that created the separate self that makes you think you have to hold on. There is no mystery here. No special skills required. You have all been given everything you need. It is called self-awareness and free will. Why do you have your current limitations, your current selves? You used your self-awareness at the level it was at, at the time, and your free will, as free as it was at the time, to create that self. Now, because you have experienced life through that self, you have a higher sense of awareness, or at least you can quickly acquire it when you become conscious of the self. And now you can then activate your free will, which is more free now than it was before, even though it does not seem so from inside the self. But it is because you have now experienced what kind of being you do not want to be. You do not want to be sick, you do not want to be limited.

You can reactivate your sense of self-awareness, look at the self, become aware of the self, and you can reactivate your will and say: “I don’t want to be that kind of being anymore, therefore, I am willing to let go of the self instead of holding on to it, instead of holding on to this illusion that I cannot let go of the role until I have achieved the goal that the role defines.”

Being free from shoulds and should nots

We have all who are ascended come to a point where we had to look at whatever goals we had here on earth, and we had to let them all go. There is a book called the Mahatma Letters, which is one of the members of the Theosophical movement who was receiving these letters from Kuthumi and I while we were still in embodiment, still unascended. I am not saying all of you need to read it, but some years ago the messenger was directed to read it, and he was surprised by the tone of these letters. Because if you read it, there is a certain sarcasm, irony, a certain, we might say, putting people down for their flaws. For this was the state of consciousness Kuthumi and I were in, in our last embodiment. We still had a certain sense that certain things should not be happening on earth, and it was certain things people should not be doing. And in order to ascend, we had to take a look at that and give it up. That evaluation, that tendency to have this—“this should happen, this should not happen”—we had to let it go, but we carried it with us to our last embodiment. You have something you are carrying with you, also related to should and should not, but you can activate your ability to become conscious of it and to decide: “I no longer want to be a being who is defined by a standard of what should and should not happen, what I should and should not do.”

Many of you have that potential, not all of you, you can ascend in other ways, but many of you have the potential, while you are still in embodiment, to come to that point where you have transcended the should and should not. Therefore, you can be free. And therefore, you can give an example of a person who is free of all of these shoulds and should nots. And therefore, you can demonstrate that you can actually be in embodiment on earth without being limited by these roles that define what you should or should not do. And therefore, you can demonstrate that you are free to decide what kind of being you want to be, because you have realized what kind of being you do not want to be. You are free. Some people will resent you for it, but others will be inspired by it, because they also have come to the point where they are longing to be free.

Everything is an experience

Again, returning to healing, it starts and it ends with a decision. We can give you all of the teachings we can think up, but the healing process will not start until you make the decision that you are willing to become more conscious of what is limiting you. And the healing process will not end until you make the decision, first that healing is possible, and then that healing is manifest. You must accept, read the New Testament and see that when Jesus approached somebody who needed to be healed, he would ask them: “Do you believe I have the power to do this?” He was really asking them: “Do you believe that healing is possible?” Well, do you? You must come to a point where you decide first that healing is possible, next, healing is real, healing is manifest. I am whole. Now, as Raphael explained, this does not mean that you overcome any physical condition, not even any self, but it does mean that you can overcome all of the dualistic separate selves, and then you can be whole, even if you still have the selves at the higher levels of consciousness left. You can still feel whole. Now, what is wholeness? Is it a physical condition? Nay, it is a psychological condition. It is an experience, your natural experience, but it is still an experience. Why? Because everything in the world of form is designed to give self-aware beings experiences.

The entire world of form is an experience machine, a device, and so you might think that being an ascended master is so different from you, but as an ascended master you are still having experiences through your sense of self. They are different from what you have in the unascended state, especially on a planet like Earth, but they are still experiences. I do not see myself as an unchanging being. I have ascended, which means I have given up the desire to experience separation and duality, so in a sense my state of being an ascended being is permanent, but it does not mean it is unchanging, because what do I see from the ascended state? I see that I am an extension of the entire hierarchy of ascended beings leading to the Creator, and I see that there are many levels of awareness beyond my level of awareness, and I see that I have the potential to rise to the Creator consciousness, and you may think an ascended master is some godlike figure, but I can assure you that when I look up towards the Creator, I see that this is very, very far beyond my present level of consciousness. Which is why those who claim that they are the embodiment on earth of some god really have not connected to the Creator, or they would see how far beyond anything on earth the Creator is. But that is beside the point.

The point is everything is an experience. It is just an experience. Now there are some non-dual teachers who will say something along the same lines, but they will say nothing is happening, because there is no self that is doing anything. But this is because they have taken some of the teachings of Advaita and even Zen Buddhism, and they have taken them too far into a dualistic extreme. First of all, nothing is happening in the sense that whatever is happening on earth has no ultimate reality. It is, as we have said, a reality simulator. Nothing really matters, as Mother Mary also said. Nothing has any real significance in an unascended sphere, because the entire purpose of this environment is to help you grow in consciousness.

The gift of self-awareness

But where the non-dual teachers go into a blind alley is that they say: “There is no self. There is no self doing anything.” And this is a misunderstanding of the older teachings, because Buddhism does not say there is no self. It does say that whatever meaning you give to what is happening on earth does not have an objective existence, it is only created in your own mind. Why? Because your mind is an experience machine, and the significance that things have in your mind, including the roles you are playing, are defined in the mind. They do not have an objective significance. But there is a being, a self, that is experiencing, so no thing might be happening, but an experience is happening. Even if you claim that you are not a self, that you have attained no self, that is still an experience. If you are conscious, you are having an experience, and you are not going to return to infinite awareness, where you have no experience as an individual being when your body dies. You will continue to exist as an individual being, because you cannot choose not to be. You can choose not to be this, or not to be that, defined in the world of form, but you cannot choose not to be, not to be conscious.

Yes, on earth you can dull the physical body and the physical senses, but you cannot choose not to be, not to exist, so we might say, as some will say: “Well that means free will has a limitation. There are choices I cannot make, so how is my will free?” But that only has any kind of significance seen from a separate self, because the Conscious You, when it is conscious, does not want to choose not to be. Why would it? When there are infinite choices of what to be, infinite experiences you can have. The Conscious You in its pure state, the I AM Presence, would not even consider choosing not to be. Why? Because the Conscious You and the I AM Presence realize: “Oh, maybe I don’t like what I am being right now, but I can choose something else.” Why would you choose non-existence when you already exist? Where am I going with all this rambling? Well, I am simply casting a net upon the waters, hoping to catch some fish here and there, that are swimming around in the Sea of Samsara, so that I can pull in my net, and there will be some that will say: “I understand.”

The greatest gift you have received is self-awareness. What is self-awareness? It is the Creator extending itself as you. The Creator has the power to decide whether to do this or not. But once the Creator has decided to create you, or extend itself as you, you do not have the power to reverse the Creator’s decision, at least not until you reach the Creator consciousness. If you want to call that a limitation of free will, go ahead. But why do you not want to be? Well, actually, it is not that you do not want to be. You do not want to be what you are right now. People have come up, as I said, with many roles that are an excuse, but also spiritual teachings that supposedly say: “Oh, you are really not a separate self, and you just need to awaken from this, and you go back into infinite awareness, where you are not being.” But why have you come up with this? Because it gives you an excuse for not choosing what you want to be. What have we now attempted to explain to you, all of us? Whatever you are right now, you can choose to let go of that role. You can choose to be more than you are now.

But it starts with a decision, an act of will. And as I said before, I do not want to influence your free will. I just want your will to be free. And that is precisely what the fallen beings and other people and your own subconscious selves do not want. They do not want your will to be free. They will project at you that it is not, because there are certain choices you cannot make. You cannot make the choice to be healed, to be whole, to transcend the role, to walk away from it, to walk away from earth to ascend. I am just here to tell you that you can. You have the right to make that choice. You can make it right now. But this is not said to make you feel bad if you cannot make it right now. It is simply because you have some subconscious selves that are preventing you from making your choice. You get busy using our tools to unravel those selves until you come to the point where you can accept: “I can make the choice to let go. And I am making the choice to let go.”

I made a choice to address you. I am grateful for you making the choice to be here, to allow me to address you, to shake you a little bit. And I hope that in the future we can interact this way again. Now, we will never again interact in exactly the same way, because I made the choice to address you. Some of you will make the choice to take what I am saying and be more. And certainly, I will make the choice to be more. This event is completely unique in time and space. It will never happen again. It has never happened before. It could not possibly be repeated. For in this world of the interdependent originations, everything is constantly shifting. Nothing can stay the same. That is why healing is possible. But you have to accept that it is possible. Will you do that? I leave the answer to you. And so I seal you in the great joy that I AM as the Ascended Master MORE.