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Ascended Master Portia through Kim Michaels, March 23, 2025. This dictation was given at a conference in Holland: Locking in to Your Divine Plan
I AM the Ascended Master Portia. Hilarion mentioned the scales falling from his eyes and compared it to the scales whereby you weigh and measure. And of course, the scales is also a symbol for the Goddess of Justice, the office that I hold for earth. But of course, the Goddess of Justice is also the Goddess of Opportunity, for justice is actually an opportunity, an opportunity to transcend. For, how will you ever find justice on earth? Look at today, look into the past, see how many conflicts there have been. How will you ever find justice if you are only looking at conditions in the world? You take the Old Testament credo, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Is that justice? Well, some thought so back then, some still think so today, that if blood has been spilled by one part, then their blood must be spilled. And then, somehow the scales are evened out. But is it justice? Nay, for it just perpetuates the ongoing conflicts.
How can justice be found? Not on earth. You will never balance the scales by taking one thing in the material realm and putting it on one side of the scale, and another thing and putting it on the other side. How will you find justice? Only through the Christ mind. Only there is there justice. And what is the justice of the Christ mind? That is, that it washes everything clean. It washes away all the fear-based energies, all the desire for revenge, all the animosities, all the anger, all the non-forgiveness. Where is justice to be found? Only in unconditional forgiveness. Where is unconditional forgiveness to be found? Only in the Christ mind.
Relationships and your Divine plan
This is just to set the stage for what I want to talk about in this discourse, and that is relationships and your Divine plan. Now, many of you, many people who hear about the concept of a Divine plan are, of course, wondering what role your relationships play in your Divine plan. Have you defined in your Divine plan that you are supposed to meet certain people, have a certain spouse, have certain parents to begin with, have certain siblings, have certain children? Well, you have, and you have not, in the sense that, as we have explained, the main goal of your Divine plan really is the resolution of psychology.
You may say you are choosing to have certain parents because that will help you resolve certain aspects of your psychology, or at least force you to look at them. You may say the same about spouses and children. But the thing is, is it one specific person that can help you learn this lesson, or is there more than one person on the earth right now who can help you learn the lesson? And the reality is, of course, that there is never just one person. Obviously, you cannot change your parents, but still, some have lost a parent at a young age. Many today are divorced and lose contact with one parent. What I want to impress upon you is that nothing is ever lost. The opportunity for growth is never lost. Because surely there is another person who has a similar psychology and who can, therefore, help you reach the goal of resolving your psychology. The same goes for spouses. If one relationship breaks up, well, it is not the end of your opportunity, because there will be another person that can help you learn that same lesson.
What does it take to learn a certain lesson? Well, it is that you look at yourself. What is the one thing that prevents many people from learning the lesson from a relationship? They are always looking at the other person, thinking: “He or she needs to change so that I can feel better inside myself.” But of course, as we have said so many times, you will never get to feel better inside yourself by changing something or someone outside yourself, only by looking at the subconscious selves and changing them.
Relationships and levels of consciousness
Now, we are giving teachings for a broad audience here. Some are fairly advanced on the spiritual path. Others who will find these teachings are not as advanced. Let me talk about relationships for people who are below the 48th level of consciousness. There is not much you can say, because people are completely identified with their egos, their subconscious selves. They are in the School of Hard Knocks. That is why you see many of such relationships are very inharmonious. The people clash. They do not get along. And in many cases, they do not actually learn the lesson that they are meant to learn. They actually reinforce the psychology that they were meant to overcome.
When you go above the 48th level, things shift. Because now, you have at least some intuitive awareness that there is something outside your own mind that you are connected to. And that gives you a certain frame of reference. You realize, or at least you can begin to realize, that not everything that is going on inside your own mind is real. And not everything that is going on inside your own mind is you. And this means that you can now begin to look at: “Why did I want to have a relationship with this person? Most likely it was because I wanted to learn something about my own psychology. I wanted to see something as a result of me interacting with this person and the person bringing up my reactionary patterns that can show which selves I have that I need to resolve.” However, at the lower levels, this can still be difficult to do.
The me-self
I have a suggestion to make. If you have difficulty dealing with relationships, take a step back. We have talked about the focus on self, which you definitely have below the 96th level, of course more so at the 48th level than at the 96th level. But nevertheless, you have some focus on self. If you can recognize you have this focus on self, that you find it difficult to free yourself from it, then step back from relationships and make a simple shift in your mind. Simply realize: “I am not having a relationship with this other person. I am having a relationship with myself. I am having a relationship with the me in myself, the self-focused self.”
If you can make this switch, which is not so difficult when you have all the teachings we have, then you can realize that you can take your focus off the other person. You can stop projecting at the other person that it is that person’s fault that you are reacting the way you are reacting, that it is that person that needs to change. And if only he or she was not so annoying, you would get along much better. You can realize that it is not the other person you cannot get along with. It is yourself you cannot get along with. It is the me-self that you cannot get along with, because the me-self cannot get along with anybody. The me-self cannot actually be in a relationship with another being.
You see many relationships in the world where people are clashing, they have constant conflicts. And it is because each person is identified with the me-self, and none of the two me-selves can relate to anything but itself. It sees everything colored by itself from its own vantage point. It thinks that it is the center of the universe. It might think it is right and that: “The way I look at things is the only way to look at things.” The me-self is totally focused on its own internal experience. That other person is just a trigger for the inner experience. But you are not relating to the other person as a real living person, you are relating to the person through those subconscious selves that form your perception filter.
Stepping outside the me-self
If you can make this switch, you can say: “Let me forget about the other person. It is not my role to change the other person. It will not actually help me grow to change the other person. It will not help me get peace of mind. Let me look at myself, the me-self, and how it reacts to situations, and how it reacts the same way again and again and again. And yes, it might be that I am reacting to this other person I am in a relationship with. But I am the one reacting, or rather, the me-self is the one reacting.” You see, if you can make this switch, what are you actually doing? You are activating the Conscious You’s ability to be conscious, to be self-aware, to look at itself, to step outside your four lower bodies and look at your four lower bodies from the outside. You are, so to speak, stepping outside the me-self. Because as long as the Conscious You is inside the me-self, it can only see what the me-self can see, which is that the rest of the universe revolves around the me-self. It is the center of the universe and everything else is just on the periphery.
But when you start looking at the me-self, you are really putting that me-self in an existential dilemma, because the me-self wants to control you, the Conscious You. And as long as you are not looking, it is easy for the me-self to control you, because you think you are the me-self. But once you step outside and look at the me-self, the me-self has this problem: “How will I maintain control, and at the same time stay hidden? I was hidden before, the Conscious You was not looking at me. It was looking through me, so it could not see me. But now, that it is looking at me, it can see me. And if I try to gain back control, it will see me even more clearly. What do I do?”
A tool from Portia
You might then come to see that the me-self will attempt to enact some kind of drama, and it will be very quick to use other people as an excuse for this drama. “Oh, there goes that person again annoying me.” And all it is trying to do, the me-self, is to pull the Conscious You into itself, so now you are again looking through the me-self. And therefore, you react as the me-self has always done. And now, you are back in an argument with your spouse, or in projecting or blaming your spouse, or whatever it may be. But if you can hold fast to this idea: “I am not having a relationship with my spouse or my parents or my children or my siblings. The me-self is having a relationship with itself. I, the Conscious You, am having a relationship with my me-self. And what kind of relationship do I want with my me-self? Do I want to be controlled by it? Do I want to be colored by it? Do I want to validate it? Or can I see how its dramas are limiting me, eating up my energy and attention, and I have had enough of it? I want to overcome it.”
I am only giving you a tool here to help you overcome these patterns that are so common in relationships. You see relationships where a man and a woman have pretty much been arguing every day for 40 years or more. Nothing seems to change. They are locked in a pattern. One person says something with a slightly raised voice, and the other person reacts with an even more raised voice, and so it goes back and forth like a ping-pong match. What is the ultimate outcome of a ping-pong match? Nothing really. The ball just keeps going back and forth. The only possible outcome is you put down the bat and walk away from the table. And it is the same with these kinds of relationships.
Choosing more
You need to look at yourself if you want to be free of this. Look at these patterns and then decide: “Do I want this to eat up my time and energy and attention? Because this will take away from fulfilling my Divine plan.” Yes, it may be that this relationship is part of your Divine plan, but it is part of it only in terms of helping you resolve the aspects of your psychology that are preventing you from fulfilling the creative aspects of your Divine plan, from giving your gift to the world. Saint Germain talked about how you might be able to help manifest his Golden Age. What is more important to you? To make your contribution to Saint Germain’s Golden Age or to win that final argument with your spouse, so you finally put him or her in his place? And finally, your me-self can say: “See, I was right all along. I knew it.” It is just a matter of choosing. Again, no blame, no blame whatsoever, but it is never too late to choose. It is never too late to break a pattern and decide: “I want more.”
Basically, if you are willing to look at your life, you can see that many relationships are run by these reactionary patterns, these subconscious selves. And you can see that you are really not relating to the other person as a living, breathing being. You are relating to yourself. There may be two subconscious selves that are fighting and arguing. The other person is just sort of the outer excuse for letting these two selves go at each other. But when you resolve this, when you rise above it, and when you go beyond the 96th level of consciousness, you have the potential to start looking at relationships in another way, where you are not seeking to change another person in order to have a different feeling inside yourself. You are not needing to push another person to change. And that means that you can come to a point where you can actually relate to another person.
And that is where you can have relationships where two people, whatever the nature of their relationship, if they can both have some freedom from the subconscious selves, they can actually relate to each other in a deeper way. Where you are acknowledging each other, because the me-self does not stand in the way. You can acknowledge each other as the living beings that you are. You can have a point where two Conscious Yous can connect and relate to each other at that level of pure awareness, rather than through the outer personality. And that is a deeper connection than you could ever have through the outer personality.
Relationships and free will
Now, I want to also talk about relationships and free will. We have explained very carefully, very deliberately, very step-by-step, how free will works. Hilarion said that you have a right to challenge other people. But of course, it is quite possible that the me-self wants to challenge other people, because the me-self wants to manipulate and control other people, so it can have some kind of feeling in itself, for example, being right. But as the Christ, you have the right to challenge other people, but it does not mean that you actually have to challenge them. You can just be yourself and express yourself. And if that is challenging for them, so be it. But you are not doing it deliberately to challenge them.
But what is it about relationships that causes so much conflict? Well, we can say that here you have two individual self-aware beings. Each person has an individual free will. Somehow these two people now decide: “We are in a relationship with each other. We cannot get away from each other. We cannot just walk away. We are somehow obligated to maintain a relationship, instead of just walking away, never looking back.” This, when people have a lower level of consciousness, very easily sets up this clash where each of the two people feel that the other one is violating their free will. Each of them feels forced by the other.
The me-self and free will
And you can say, of course, that many people in the world think that you do not choose your parents. You just happen to have these parents. You did not choose your siblings. “Where was my free will in this?” There are also those who actually feel that: “Well, I may have chosen to date this person originally. But I had no idea how annoying he or she is. And if I had known that, I never would have become engaged or married to that person. I didn’t know at the time, so how was I having free will?” And this is, of course, the me-self in people. Because what is it about the me-self and free will? Well, the me-self does not have free will. Why? Because it does not have self-awareness. Can a me-self step outside of itself, become aware of itself? And say: “Oh, you know, I don’t actually like me. I am going to change me.” No, it cannot.
Therefore, it cannot have free will. It cannot choose to change itself. The me-self does not see the value of free will, does not understand what free will is. The me-self thinks that: “Oh, free will means I can do anything I want and there shouldn’t be any consequences. And I can treat another person however I want to treat them, and they should still love me.” But this is not free will. Free will is an opportunity. But if you think your will is forced, where is the opportunity? But more than that, the me-self wants to have freedom to do anything it wants without consequences. But it does not actually want to make choices. Because in order to make choices, free choices, you have to take responsibility: “I am the one making this choice. I am the one who is willing to look at the consequences and see the feedback I get from the cosmic mirror. And then, when I see my reaction to the feedback, I am willing to change myself so I can send something else into the cosmic mirror.” That is exercising free will. But the me-self is not capable or willing to do this.
The me-self dramas
The me-self actually wants freedom, but it does not want choice. It wants to put itself in a situation where it does not have freedom of choice, because it has to react to this annoying person. This is what we have called ego dramas. And for many people, a relationship is an ego drama. The me-self decides: “I am married to this person. I am a good Catholic so I can never get divorced. So, I have to live with this person for the rest of my life.” And what is that decision? It is an excuse for not making any more decisions after that. You are just reacting to whatever subconscious selves you have that are creating the dynamic of the relationship.
Now, you can say: “Can the me-self decide to be in a relationship?” Not really. The Conscious You needs to make a decision. But in many cases, people’s Conscious You makes the decision through the filter of the me-self and therefore, it is not a free choice they are making. But why is the Conscious You doing this? Because the Conscious You itself is not willing to take responsibility for making choices. It gets itself, say it is a young man who is insecure about himself. Is there ever a girl that is going to love him? And here is a girl that seems to love him. He does not really look at: “What kind of personality does she have? There is a girl that does not run away. I am going to grab the opportunity.” Perhaps the girl is equally insecure, does not feel like she can really find a guy. But here is a guy who is not running away. They start a relationship.
And instead of happily ever after, it is naggingly ever after. Because only when they have committed to the relationship and the honeymoon is over, does their unresolved psychology come up and create these reactionary patterns that keep them on this spiral. And both of them are feeling: “Oh, how annoying this is. Why did I get myself into this?” But this was actually exactly what they wanted, both of them. Because they did not want to take responsibility for their lives and make a conscious decision. They made an unconscious decision, a kind of avoidance decision. And now, they are locked in this pattern so they do not need to make the decision to break out of it. They do not even recognize that they could break out of it. They just keep reacting and reacting and reacting. You see here that for many people, relationships become an excuse for not making choices, but just reacting through subconscious selves, these patterns.
Overcoming reactionary patterns
What do you do when you walk the spiritual path? Well, as you approach the 96th level, you become more and more aware, you resolve more and more subconscious selves. And there comes a point where now you have the potential, the opportunity to step back and look at your relationships, all of your relationships, and decide: “Do I want to continue this relationship, to be locked in this pattern? And if not, how can I change it?” Well, first of all, you need to look at yourself. Why did you in your Divine plan want to be in a relationship that brings out this pattern in you? There was a subconscious self you wanted to overcome, so you could be free of it to fulfill the creative aspects of your Divine plan. Get on with it, look at the self, use the tools we have given, be free of the self.
Then, when you are free of the self, you may seek to help your spouse be free of his or her self. If your spouse is not willing to do this, you may come to a point where you say: “I do not want to continue this relationship.” The same for parents and children and siblings. But it is not a decision you make as an avoidance decision, because you cannot stand the other person, or rather, you cannot stand yourself the way you react to the other person. And you are not willing to look at the reactionary pattern in yourself, so your only option is to leave the other person behind so that your reactionary pattern is not stirred up. That is an avoidance decision. But if you have worked through your own patterns, it is not an avoidance decision, it is a decision you have a right to make. And this will many times mean that you leave a relationship behind, but you find a new partner that you can have a higher relationship with because you have overcome the psychology in yourself.
You can perhaps, if your partner is open to growth, you can grow together. You can help each other overcome these reactionary patterns. Two people who are open to the spiritual path can sit down and say: “Let’s look at our relationship. Do we see any patterns? How can we help each other overcome those patterns so we can come to the point where we are free to have a relationship that is not driven by reactionary patterns?” And in many cases, two spiritually open people can help each other resolve all the psychology you wanted to resolve in your Divine plan. This means your relationship will change completely. It may in some cases mean that you decide to go your separate ways, because you want to seek other relationships. It may also mean that your relationship goes into an entirely new phase where you can be creative together and support each other’s creativity rather than reacting to patterns.
Relationship: an excuse for not making decisions
A final thought on relationships and free will. All relationships that are based on these reactionary patterns, it is typical that the people feel that their partner is violating their free will. But that is not the case. Because again, when you go into this avoidance decision of not wanting to take responsibility, what are you actually deciding? You are deciding that you do not want to make decisions. You want external circumstances to force you, so you do not have to make a decision. And when two people in this state of mind attract each other, each of them is just fulfilling the role and giving the other person what he or she wants, an excuse for not making decisions. “Because I cannot get my partner to do this. You never want to go out and travel. You never want to do this. You never want to do that.” You have your excuse for not making decisions, creative decisions. How is that a violation of your free will?
Just like when the fallen beings are challenged by a Christed being. It is not a violation of their free will. It is actually what they want. You, when you approach the 96th level, what can you do? Well, you can look at relationships and you can say: “Am I using this or that person that I am in a relationship with as an excuse for not taking responsibility and making my own decisions?” And you can take back your power to choose. You may also say: “Is this other person using me as an excuse? And if I have transcended the psychology that I needed to work out, do I really want to continue to enable that person to stay in his or her reactionary pattern?” You can decide two things. You can decide, first of all, when you have resolved your psychology, you do not react to the person the way you used to and therefore, you do not reinforce the other person’s pattern. Or you may come to a point where you say: “I simply do not want that person in my life. I do not want to spend my time, my energy, my attention on a person who is not growing.” That is the decision you have a right to make.
Leaving people behind
What is Christhood? Christhood is that you leave things behind. As you rise in Christhood, there will be things you leave behind. As we have said, that in order to ascend, you must leave everything on earth behind. This will seem very insensitive and cruel to some people, especially if they are not willing to take responsibility for themselves. And they want you to continue playing the role, if they have possessive love. But you see, when you ascend and you leave perhaps many people behind, does that mean you will never encounter them again? Of course not. When you ascend and when they ascend, you can have a relationship in the ascended realm. But in order to ascend, you have to leave every other person behind. You will ascend as an individual. Regardless of what you may have read about twin flames, you ascend as an individual being. And that means you leave every person who is unascended behind. It cannot be any other way.
But you see, once you have raised yourself above your reactionary patterns, once you have freed yourself from those subconscious selves, is it a loss to leave other people behind? Nay. Of course, if they have unresolved psychology, they may feel it as a loss. They may say: “You are violating my free will. You are abandoning me.” But look at what kind of a planet you are on. Your body could die at any moment for any number of causes, as happens every day. Can another person blame you for dying? Can another person blame you for ascending? This is the kind of planet you are on. Nothing lasts forever, not even relationships. Happily ever after? A figment of the imagination. A failure to see what kind of a planet you are on.
Is walking the path selfish?
There is, however, happily ever after in your own mind when you attain Christhood. But that happiness does not depend on any other human being, or any other being for that matter, except, of course, your I AM Presence, which is not really another being. The shift that you can make as spiritual people is that you can, as Jesus said, lock in to your Divine plan and see it as your primary priority. That means everything else simply must fit into your Divine plan. Your Divine plan is your primary priority. You cannot allow anything to distract you from it. That also goes for relationships. If a relationship is draining your energy, draining your attention in a way that means you do not have anything left over to fulfill the goals in your Divine plan, then it must be selected out.
Free will is individual. You do not have the right to force the free will of another human being. But neither does anyone else, including your spouse or parent or children, have the right to force your free will. What do I mean with forcing free will? People will say: “If you leave me, you are violating my free will.” No. Forcing another person’s free will is attempting to manipulate their mind, their emotional, mental and identity bodies. You are attempting to manipulate a person’s mind in order to get them to make certain choices. That is violating their free will. But you have a right to make choices that have physical consequences for other people, such as choosing to leave them behind.
That is not violating their free will. It is claiming your own. Because even though you are physically leaving them, you are not interfering with their mind, trying to control how they should react to this. You are, in a sense, giving them a choice how they will react. And the choice you are giving them is, will they now look at themselves and overcome the reactionary pattern that they were not willing to look at while you were in the relationship with them, where you, in a sense, enabled them to not look at it? That is not a violation of their free will. And you have a right to say: “Now, that I have transcended the reactionary patterns that made it seem like I could not leave this person, now I have a right to move on. And I am taking that right.”
I know very well that many, many people in the world would, if they came across this teaching, say: “This sounds very, very selfish. You are being so selfish by leaving me.” But what are they trying to do when they say this? They are trying to get you to set aside your free will to accommodate them. That is selfish. You see, when you are talking about people in the world who are not living any kind of spiritual life, you could say that people can be selfish by leaving another person. But when you are talking about somebody who is walking the spiritual path and becoming more aware of their Divine plan, you are not selfish by pursuing the goals you defined in your Divine plan. And you are not selfish by choosing the ascension instead of staying in a dysfunctional relationship.
The ascension is not selfishness. It is the ultimate selfless act. Why? Because you have to completely give up any sense of me as it relates to earth. How can that be selfish? Selfishness is that you have the me, the separate self, that wants to have its way and wants to manipulate everybody into giving it its way. In order to ascend, you have to free yourself from all of this. There is no me, no earthly me left. That is the only way you can face that initiation of the demons of Mara and the prince of this world tempting you to react. There is no me that can react. How is that selfish? Oh yes, it is selfish to another person’s me. But does that make it selfish that a selfish person accuses you of being selfish? Does that make you selfish? Well, not from the perspective of the Christ mind.
Leaving duality behind forever
You could, of course, go one step further and say: “Is the Christ selfish?” And you could say: “Yes, the Christ is the ultimate selfish being.” Why? Because the Christed being sees the oneness of all life and it sees that leaving behind the separate self and ascending is the ultimate way to raise up the all. And therefore, you are in a sense being ultimately selfish by ascending, because you are doing what is best for yourself. You are to see that yourself encompasses everything and everyone. Again, the mind can play with words and ideas and images. The mind can take any teaching and twist and turn it and use it to validate whatever it wants to validate.
Christhood is when you see through all of these tricks of the mind and you decide: “Enough! I have had enough!” And you make yourself transparent to the demons of Mara, to the prince of this world. And then, you take that last look, let them parade whatever they want to parade before you, and you have no reaction. And you just walk away into the sunset or the sunrise of your I AM Presence. Call it selfishness, if you will, or call it the ultimate act of selflessness. Anyone who has ascended will realize that it required the death of any earthly self and therefore, it is an entry into complete selflessness as selfishness is defined on an unascended planet.
It does not mean the loss of self. For now, your sense of self is the one anchored in your I AM Presence, which was never selfish, the way it is defined on earth. Even though the I AM Presence was not ascended, it was not selfish, self-centered in an earthly sense. But by you, the Conscious You, traveling into an unascended sphere to an unnatural planet, experimenting with the consciousness of selfishness, your I AM Presence gained an invaluable perspective on the possibilities of free will. Which means that both you, the Conscious You, and the Presence can now make that fully conscious choice to leave duality, separateness, self-centeredness, selfishness behind forever. Because you feel you are done with it. And you know what you are done with, because you have experienced it. Therefore, you are consciously choosing it out, selecting it out, and you never need to revisit it again. That is the ascension. And that is the ultimate opportunity.
As the Goddess of Opportunity, I seal you in that flame of opportunity that I hold for earth. You can never lose your opportunity to transcend the self. I will never abandon you. I will always be there to extend that opportunity when you decide you want the opportunity to be more. I AM with you always. You need but reach for me and experience the opportunity to self-transcend.
Copyright © 2025 Kim Michaels