A more open debate about the roles of men and women

TOPICS: Fanaticism and the relationship between men and women – Changing the roles of men and women – A new debate about equality – Talking about sex – Highest potential for love relationships – Youth initiative without rebellion – The cost of the traditional approach – How demons use relationships to steal energy – The purpose of a nation – The need for sexual satisfaction – 

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Ascended Master Venus, May 5th, 2017, through Kim Michaels. This dictation was given at a conference in Seoul, Korea.

I AM the Ascended Master Venus, and as you understand from the discourse given by my beloved Sanat Kumara at the last conference, we are naturally concerned about fanaticism. When we came from Venus, we came with a flame of love, and one of the most extreme manifestations of anti-love found on earth is indeed fanaticism.

Fanaticism and the relationship between men and women

Now my beloved, it is naturally necessary to make the calls for the binding of these fallen beings and the demons that have been created out of fanaticism. In order to gain the full victory over these fanatical forces and actually overcome the fanatical mindset, we need to also take the Omega approach. You see, my beloved, it would be possible for sufficient numbers of ascended master students to make the calls that would allow the ascended masters to bind all demons and dark forces of fanaticism on this planet. We could also, based on your calls, be allowed to take certain fallen beings out of embodiment that have embodied that fanatical mindset. But this, in itself, would not guarantee that humankind at large (or at least the lower portion of people in embodiment) would automatically get out of the fanatical mindset. Because this is a mindset that is very subtle and that in some parts of the world, in some groups of people, is very ingrained.

Strange as it may seem, the Omega aspect of the solution to overcoming this mindset is actually found at the very personal level in the relationships between human beings and especially in the relationship between man and woman in a love relationship. You see, my beloved, the fanatical mindset is an expression of anti-love. Where does anti-love begin? Well, it begins in the relationship between men and women.

There is no way that a country or a large group of people can be plunged into the fanatical mindset if they have a true sense of love at the very personal level in the family, in love relationships. You can look back to nations, such as Germany in the 1930s, and you will see that there was a certain dynamic between men and women—not all of course, but many. This meant that the personal relationship, the home, the family, was not an expression of love as it could have been. There was a lack of love between men and women because they were locked in certain roles. If they had not been locked in these roles, if there had been the flow of love, then they would not have been susceptible to the fanatical mindset put upon them through this instrument of the dark forces, the fallen being himself, Adolf Hitler.

You can go to the Soviet Union and see that, again, in Russia before the Bolshevik Revolution, there was not this free flow of love between men and women. This was what was partly responsible for so many people in Russia descending into the fanatical mindset after the Bolshevik takeover, and being willing to kill their own countrymen in such large numbers.

You can see the same in China before and after the takeover by Mao and the Cultural Revolution and the mass killings that took place there. You can look to North Korea today and you can see that there is a dynamic between men and women that prevents the free flow of love. Then, you can, of course, look to South Korea and you can see that, although you do not find this problem to the extent you find it North Korea, you still have a situation here where men and women have been locked in certain roles and this prevents them from having the free flow of love between them.

Changing the roles of men and women

How, my beloved, can there be a free flow of love between a man and a woman when neither the man nor the woman see each other as equals? If the man has been programmed from early childhood that he is superior to women in certain ways, and if the woman has been programmed to fill up a subordinate position in the relationship and in society, how can they have a free flow of love? It simply cannot happen, my beloved.

What we see from the ascended level is that, if there is to be a peaceful reunification of Korea, then it is necessary that there is a new awareness in South Korea of the need to change the roles of men and women. You need to talk openly about the roles of men and women and therefore move closer to a point where men and women can be equals and can have a relationship that is based on equality so that they can have that free flow of love between them.

This is, of course, also a potential that we see, although we will say that we are not quite as optimistic on this point as some of the other issues we have brought to your attention during this conference. We realize that people are so locked in these traditional roles that it will be very difficult, especially for the older generation, to even discuss the topic. However we also see, as we have said before, that we have brought so many young people into embodiment in Korea that it is in fact possible that there can be a more open debate on this topic because these young people are not as locked in these roles, they are not so concerned about fulfilling these roles and therefore they have a more even or equal attitude towards men and women. We ask you who are the spiritual students to, of course, make the calls for this so that there will be a new awareness.

A new debate about equality

We know that we have already talked about the need to give equality to women. I hope you can see that this goes beyond the, so to speak, physical or political equality. This is not a matter of creating laws, my beloved. This is a matter of creating debate, a free debate in society where you begin to openly talk about some of these issues that have so far either been taboos or have simply not been talked about. There was no one who was even able to clarify that there was a problem, and what the problem was. Thus, there was no one who was even able to formulate the basis for debate. You see, my beloved, sometimes people can be so blinded by a certain role that they cannot even ask the questions that will open up for debate about the issue.

Naturally, there is already some debate about the role of men and women, but it has been too much patterned on what you have seen in the West where it has been focused on equality in the laws, in the workplace or in the political arena. We are not here talking about creating a quota for how many business leaders should be women or how many leaders in the educational institutions should be women. We are talking about going right into the home and looking at the relationship between one man and one woman who are either married or are otherwise living in a dedicated relationship.

How can these two people relate to each other and find a greater degree of freedom to express love for each other so that the relationship becomes based on love and carried by waves of love throughout the entire span of the relationship? What you too often see now (not of course only in Korea but in many parts of the world), is that two young people fall in love and then they decide to get married. Once they get married, they suddenly realize that the marriage was a prison and they entered it without knowing it. Now that they are married, they are locked in roles that are so strictly defined that they almost don’t have room to breathe. Suddenly, this euphoric feeling of being in love starts to evaporate instead of, as it ideally should happen, it was transformed into a deeper sense of love between the man and the woman. We need you to make the calls that there will be an increased awareness of the need to debate this and to create a situation in society where you can freely talk about the relationship between men and women.

We realize, of course, that this will (as in most other countries where there has been more of a progress on this area) be started and carried primarily by women who, generally speaking, are more open to talking about personal issues and feelings. Therefore, we ask you to make the calls for the protection, for the cutting free and for the awakening of those women in Korean society who, if they are not already beginning to do so, have the potential to step forward and carry this debate forward. It is also extremely important to make the calls that these women – and some men as well who can carry this debate, who can take this to a national level – will be emboldened so that they have the courage to go beyond traditional taboos.

Talking about sex

For example, how can you possibly talk about the relationship between men and women without talking about sex, which traditionally in all of Asia has been much of a taboo. It is even to the point where although you cannot talk about it publicly (which is one thing), but even men and women cannot talk about it with each other in many nations in Asia.

My beloved, what have we said over and over again is the foundation for the spiritual path? Well, it is that you become aware of issues so that you see them clearly, and then you can make better decisions based on your raised awareness. If there is not the openness to even talk about the issue, how can you then go through that process? If you take Jesus’ discourse on Christhood, you will see that what he is talking about is that as you go higher on the levels of consciousness, you come to a point where you begin to focus more and more on oneness. My beloved, all people have some longing for oneness, especially those who are above the 48th level have a longing for oneness with something beyond themselves. This is part of the driving force that causes you to engage in the spiritual path. You long for something, you long for oneness with something beyond yourself because you realize that it is only by having contact with something beyond yourself that you can escape the closed system of your own mind, your ego, your outer mind, your linear, analytical mind.

Do you see, my beloved, that as soon as you go above the 48th level, it is actually very important to be aware of the role of oneness, oneness with something greater than your separate self. With this in mind, can you not see that the highest potential for the relationship between men and women is that their love relationship will lead to spiritual growth because they establish some degree of oneness with each other? When the man and the woman in a relationship have some degree of oneness with each other, then they serve as a frame of reference for each other. They give each other that experience of oneness beyond the personal separate self and this can then lead to spiritual growth.

Highest potential for love relationships

The highest potential for love relationships is that they actually become a sort of guru-chela relationship where both the man and the woman are the guru and both are the chela. Sometimes, the one will take the role of guru, sometimes the other. Therefore, with the interchange between them, they help each other grow so that after establishing some degree of oneness with each other they also begin to establish oneness with their I AM Presences, even if they don’t know the term “I AM Presence” or don’t know about ascended masters. Still, their relationship becomes an engine for spiritual growth.

Now, this is the highest potential that you can envision and make the calls for. You also need to realize that the culture that you have had basically all over the world, but also here in Southeast Asia, is in direct opposition to this because it has set up − and this has been inspired by the fallen beings − these barriers between a man and a woman so that they do not establish this oneness. You see my beloved, what does it take to establish oneness with something outside yourself? It takes that you are willing to go beyond the boundaries of your own mind. When both the man and woman have been programmed from early childhood that as a man you have a certain role to fulfill and as a woman you have another role to fulfill and as long as both of them are absolutely identified with these roles and do not think they can break them, then how can they go beyond the roles and establish oneness?

You see that, when there is shame associated with going beyond your predefined role, then you cannot have a free-flowing relationship. How can a man and a woman establish oneness, which must be spontaneous, if they feel it is shameful to go beyond some predefined behaviour or some predefined way of talking to each other.

Do you realize, my beloved, that as you grow up you are affected by your parents in very, very profound ways? Because as small children, you tend to imitate your parents and you tend to think that this is the way to act. You look back at how your parents interacted with each other, how they talked to each other when you were present and you think this is the way men and women should talk to each other. You do not know how your parents talked to each other in private, but you often assume that they talked in private the way they did when you were present.

You think this is the only way that a man and a woman can interact, and for most of you that means that you have grown up with parents who basically did not give you the impression that they had a personal relationship. They were like two separate people living in the same house, carefully fulfilling their roles and being very careful not to overstep the boundaries of those roles. This could possibly have been reinforced by your grandparents and therefore this is a culture that is carried on from generation to generation.

Youth initiative without rebellion

Now, as I said, there are many people (and many of you are among them, of course) who have embodied in Korea at this time because they have the potential to break this pattern and bring society forward. We ask you to make the calls for these people to step forward and to start making their voice heard in the debate. We also ask you, once again (as we said yesterday) to make the calls that the young people will find a way to communicate with the older generation so that the older generation do not feel more threatened than absolutely necessary. There is a way to be open and direct but still be somewhat respectful and diplomatic where you state your own feelings, your own thoughts, your own beliefs without accusing the older generation.

As we have already talked about, there was a time of the youth rebellion in the West, but the leaders of this movement were unfortunately largely controlled by the fallen beings. From the very beginning, they created a confrontational approach so that they came out and accused the older generation, accused the establishment of being wrong and of seeking to restrict them. It is very important for you to hold the vision and make the calls that the young people step up to a much higher approach where they are not accusing, they are not saying that something is wrong, but they are simply saying that for them, this old approach is not the right approach. They have a new view, they have a new approach and they want to be able to freely talk about this and to freely live their lives and their relationships the way they see is right.

My beloved, this can bring a shift where at least a certain segment of the population will suddenly see the need to debate these issues. They will be able to see that they have not been happy, they have not been fulfilled in their relationships. They have felt trapped in their marriages. They have felt that there was no love, there was no growth in their relationships and therefore they are open to actually debating a higher way of interacting with each other in a relationship.

Women will be emboldened to come forward and say: “But why should I be locked in such a role when it does not give me happiness and creative fulfilment? Why must I be relegated to a servant role in a relationship when I have the potential to be much more active, much more creative?” When women honestly speak out about this, then you will see that men will also be willing to acknowledge that they have also felt trapped in a traditional male role and they will want to pursue ways to find greater fulfilment.

You see, my beloved, there is always a, we might say, downside of every step that is taken forward. I know very well that there are those in society who will say that the family is the unit, is the backbone of society, and these ideas that I have been talking about will lead to what you have seen in the West where the family will be destabilized, relationships will break up and lead to divorces, single families, single mothers struggling to make ends meet, children that are shuffled back and forth between different families, mixed families and all of these kind of problems that you see in the West.

The cost of the traditional approach

First of all, it does not have to lead to all of these problems. There are, of course, some people that will be divorced if you break down the old view of marriage as something that can never be dissolved. You need to recognize two things: first of all, the traditional role where once you are married, you have to stay married for life because there is such shame associated with a divorce that nobody can endure it. This also has a high cost. The high cost is that there is a certain percentage of women who are being directly abused by their husbands. Those women have virtually no recourse in the old system. They have no one they can talk to because there will always be the blame put on the women that they are not able to satisfy their husbands. There is virtually never an openness to recognize that it is actually always the case that if a man is physically, verbally abusive towards his wife, it is not the wife’s fault but because the husband has psychological problems.

I am not saying there are not relationships where the wife also has psychological problems, but if the man is directly abusive, it is his psychological problems that cause the abuse. Of course, you have to realize also that, in many cases, abuse comes from frustration. Frustration comes from feeling trapped because you cannot exit a situation, but you cannot live with it either and you don’t see any way to change it. So again, can you see how it is necessary to open up the debate even if there is a cost in the form of a higher divorce rates and the break-up of families with all that entails?

You also need to recognize from a spiritual perspective that many spiritual people need to have more than one relationship in their lifetime in order to experience maximum growth. I am not saying this goes for all, but there needs to be an awareness that in many cases your first marriage will be based on karma and therefore there can come a time where that karma is now resolved. Therefore, in order for you to attain maximum growth towards Christhood, you may need to move on either to not have a relationship or to have a relationship that is not based on karmic circumstances where you can achieve a higher degree of oneness with your partner and therefore it can be a relationship that leads to growth.

When we are perfectly realistic, and we reach back to what I said earlier about the potential for relationships to be an engine for spiritual growth, it is often the case when two people have severe karma with each other, their relationship cannot function this way. In some situations, once they have balanced the karma, it is better for both sides to move on. There is, of course, always the potential that two people, after having balanced their karma can find a new way to interact with each other so that their free flow of love is no longer blocked by the karma that often makes oneness, the expression of love, or even free communication very difficult.

There just needs to be the recognition that in some cases it is necessary for people to have several relationships in a lifetime, and this is something that the people need to be free to feel so that they can flow with their intuitive promptings. I realize, of course, that some people will misuse this and will use it as an excuse for getting out of a relationship where they are not willing to make the effort to look at their psychology that could make the relationship work. Again, my beloved, there is nothing that we can give you that cannot be misused by some people, but the fact that some people will misuse something does not mean that it should be stopped. You see so many examples of how giving people greater freedom will be misused but is that an excuse for not giving them that freedom? It is only an excuse if you are a fallen being who never wants to give people freedom.

You recognize, my beloved, that even if people actually abuse freedom, this still gives them an experience that they, for some reason, need until they can find a higher approach. Even what is happening in the West where many go from relationship to relationship, can eventually lead these people to have a higher understanding and a higher vision. It does not need to be as chaotic and that is why you can make the calls for a more balanced approach so that you do not have to repeat the mistakes that have already been made.

You understand that, when there is a new awareness on a worldwide basis, there will always be some nations that are the first ones to tune in to the change, and when they implement it they often implement it in a, we might say, the hard way, so that they are relatively unbalanced, relatively immature in how they implement it. As they gain more experience, then there can be a new group of nations that tune in to this, but they do not need to repeat the same mistakes as the first group. They can take a more mature approach. There is a potential that you can find a more mature approach here in Korea where you do not have to repeat the same mistakes as you see in the West.

How demons use relationships to steal energy

I ask you to make the calls also that there will be the binding of the demons that are behind this, the demons that absolutely want to maintain the traditional family structure because it actually allows them to prevent the Christhood of both men and women, by keeping them locked in these roles. It allows them to prevent their spiritual growth. It also creates this frustration, this sense of being trapped that allows the demons to extract people’s energy.

You will see many, many relationships, my beloved, where from the surface level, from an outside perspective, they seem to have an ideal relationship according to the traditional definition. When you go into their private life, you see that they are often going around nagging at each other and even abusing each other emotionally in certain ways. This, of course, allows the demons and entities to absorb people’s energy and they often egg them on to have more arguments or more disagreements, or even this coldness and sense of distance between each other that also causes people to misqualify their energy and to release this misqualified energy that the dark forces can then use to sustain themselves.

There are some very powerful demons that do not want to break this up. There are also some fallen beings in the identity realm who do not want to break this up because they have worked for thousands upon thousands of years to create in the identity realm these predefined roles for men and women and they do not want to see their creation destroyed.

Then, you can make the calls for the binding of the fallen beings in the mental realm who are the ones who will come up with very sophisticated, very clever, so to speak, arguments for how this will destroy society if you break up the traditional family structure. They will say, at least between the lines, that it does not matter if men and women are suffering in their current roles because it is far more important to maintain the overall stability of society. This, my beloved, is what we have told you so many times is the hallmark of the fallen beings. They want to create a system and then they want to say that upholding the system is far more important than the happiness and wellbeing of the people who are living in the system. They want to say that their system is an end in itself.

The purpose of a nation

My beloved, what is the purpose of a nation? Is it to keep all of its citizens locked in roles that make them unhappy and unfulfilled? Well, if you are a fallen being you will say: “Yes, that is exactly the role of a nation. It is to keep people trapped so that they are our slaves and we can milk them for their energy.” If you are an ascended master, you will say that the true purpose of a nation is to promote the psychological, the spiritual wellbeing of the citizens and to give them the greatest possible opportunity to express their spiritual, built-in, God-given creativity. This will not only be best for the people, it will be best for the nation. Therefore, a nation where most of its people are unfulfilled and frustrated in their daily lives, cannot fulfill its highest potential. It cannot bring forth creative solutions, my beloved.

Just imagine what we have talked about before, about businesses needing to be more creative so they can adapt to the changing business climate on a planetary level. Just imagine, my beloved, that you took a major corporation in Korea who somehow became aware of this need to be more creative. They decided that they would set up the most creative work environment they could possibly think up. They created this environment, and instead of hiring people the traditional way, they looked wherever they could find the most creative people in Korean society and they hired these people. They put them in this environment and said: “Now, be creative.”

Now imagine that these people are all adults that are married and they are living in a personal relationship. At home in their relationship, they are locked in a traditional role, there is no free flow of love in their relationship, there is no creativity in their relationship. How can these people have this kind of non-creative situation in their home and then come to work and suddenly switch into being creative? You see, my beloved, everything goes together. When you open up the free flow of love in the personal relationship, you will open up for creativity in all areas of society. When people have a free flow in their personal relationship, they will bring that with them into all their activities.

The need for sexual satisfaction

My beloved, I have given you much to ponder but I do wish to emphasize that there needs to be free and open debates. You need to make the calls for this so that those who can promote this debate are emboldened to step forward. You also need, as ascended master students, to hold a more long-term vision. You know very well that in many cases, the people who will start a debate in a certain area will be the ones who are unbalanced, who are more radical, more extremist and they like to provoke and therefore they come out with the most outrageous, unbalanced arguments. We are asking you as spiritual students to hold a more clear vision here that it is necessary to have this turbulent phase in order to break through the old taboos. We ask you to hold the vision and make the calls that very quickly people will find a more balanced, a more mature, way to debate the issues.

You realize, my beloved, that whenever there is a new debate that is starting, there are powerful forces who want to squash it as quickly as possible. It sometimes takes some rather unbalanced and radical, provocative people to break through that resistance and then suddenly there are other people that can step forward and say: “We think there is a better way to debate this issue.”

We ask you to hold the vision and make the calls here that people will be emboldened to talk about these issues that have often been taboos. As I said, sexuality has been a taboo in most Asian countries as it was a taboo in western countries not so long ago. It is necessary, my beloved, to talk about sex because the traditional roles that have been defined between men and women are actually locking both men and women in a situation where they are not fulfilled in their sexual relationship.

Why do you see such high prostitution in Korea? Why would men need to go to prostitutes if they were satisfied at home? You cannot actually be satisfied as a man if you do not have a woman who is equal with you. Then she just becomes a tool, but that, in the long run, is not satisfying. So the man longs for something else. He does not know what he is longing for, so he tries to experiment and go elsewhere. But again, by a more mature debate where men and women can begin to talk openly about this, a new change could happen.

It is necessary to recognize that women have not been fulfilled either. A man can be physically fulfilled and a woman is not fulfilled. But a man is not necessary emotionally and spiritually fulfilled, and he will not be fulfilled emotionally and spiritually unless his woman is also fulfilled, both at the physical, at the emotional, spiritual level. Unless there is a free debate about this, and how men and women can relate to each other in a different way, both in their homes and in the bed, my beloved, then you cannot break through this very powerful force that wants to keep people locked in these roles.

You need to as ascended master students, first of all be willing to look at these issues yourself. I am not saying that you necessarily need to debate this amongst yourselves, but I am not necessarily saying that you could not do it either. You need to hold that vision that there are those who are the courageous ones who will be willing to step forward and again, they can state how they experience the situation. Why they feel unfulfilled and how they would like to see the relationship change.

This will make many people uncomfortable, as I can feel it is making some of you uncomfortable. Nevertheless, once again there is a need to go through a phase of making people uncomfortable. In the long run, it is the only way to make them come up higher where they can feel truly fulfilled as free spirits that are free to express themselves, both at home, in their workplaces and in society. This is what we desire to see for you, and I truly hope that you desire to see it for yourselves for otherwise there is, of course, not very much we can do for you.

My beloved, I thank you again for being the open doors whereby I have been able to use the chakras, at least of those of you who were not too uncomfortable, to radiate a very powerful impetus or impulse of energy into the collective consciousness and thereby embolden some of these people who are already engaged in these issues, who are already in a position to open up the debate. We sincerely hope that we will see this in the coming years. I thank you for your attention and for your willingness to be the open doors for radiating the Golden Age consciousness in Korea and Asia.


Copyright © 2017 Kim Michaels