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Ascended Master Akshobya through Kim Michaels, June 23, 2018. This dictation was given at a conference in Kazakhstan.

I AM the Dhyani Buddha Akshobya. I AM the Ascended Master Akshobya but I am, of course, more than any name. The poison for which I have chosen to hold the balance for the earth is anger and hatred. What is anger? Well, words are limited for describing a feeling because feelings are often complex, they are more than just words.

Painting yourself into a corner

Let us focus on two types of beings. We have the fallen beings, we have avatars. The fallen beings have a deep anger against God, against other fallen beings, against human beings, against avatars, against Christed beings, against Buddhic beings. They basically have an anger against everything but themselves. Well, in reality their anger is an anger against themselves but they do not see this.

Now, if you take what was said earlier, you will see that ignorance creates a screen and you cannot see what is behind it. When an avatar comes to earth and begins to doubt, or receives the shock that your original purpose for coming here cannot be fulfilled, then you create that primal self that hides the shock of having to rethink your approach.

In the same way, in that first sphere where a being fell, the fallen being had built up this great sense of self for doing something good. When confronted by the ascended masters with the reality that it was not actually good, it was only self-centered, then that fallen being also experienced a shock and it created a self that has been hiding that shock ever since. The fallen being has been able to avoid rethinking its approach and coming to the point of looking at: “Oh, is there something in my attitude, my approach, my beliefs, my way of looking at things, my perception that was not the highest possible? Is it my perception that I have to change?”

You could say that with an avatar, you come to earth, you receive that shock of realizing that your reason for coming to earth cannot be fulfilled. You create that primal self to avoid having to deal with the question: “Was there something in my reason, in my attitude, in my perception of earth that needs to change?” You have created the self to avoid having to look at a deeper issue. Yet what happens as you continue embodying (whether it is as a fallen being in a higher sphere or as an avatar on earth) is that as you experience life, you experience that there are certain problems that you seemingly cannot solve.

The reason you cannot solve the problems is that you will not look at that original issue that is hidden by your primal self. By the very fact of creating this primal self, you are putting yourself in a limited perception and therefore there are certain problems that you cannot solve. As you continue to embody, you create more and more selves as an offspring of the primal self, and the selves create more and more limitations. For each time you create a self, you create a limitation. For each limitation, there is a problem you cannot solve until you resolve the self.

You could say that each self limits your perception. With a limited perception, there is a problem you cannot solve but what do you do? You cannot solve the problem but you have to react to the problem. How do you deal with that? You create another self based on another limitation and that creates another problem you cannot solve.

The build-up of anger

Gradually, things become more and more intense and that is why, as Master MORE said, that even spiritual students can build up this increasing frustration. You are experiencing that you are in an unpleasant situation. You feel limited, you feel boxed in. You are experiencing that you are boxed in by conditions that you have no power to change. You are limited by problems that you cannot solve—that is how it seems to you. The reason it seems that way is that you are looking at the problems through a certain self but you do not see this. Therefore, you are seeing that there is a problem that you cannot solve. Just as we have said before, it becomes personal to you because you are feeling boxed in and you are feeling you have no place to go. That is how anger builds up.

Anger builds because there are more and more problems you cannot solve. For every time you have to react to a problem, you create another self and that creates another problem and it seems like it will never end. It is the story of the monster in the cave where, when you cut off its head, seven more heads would grow out. This is what builds anger. It is a frustration, a build-up of energy, of tension that becomes more and more intense and that gives you that anger. That is when you, then, come to this point where it becomes so strong that you cannot help but express that anger. Of course, you do not express it towards yourself, you express it towards other people.

Now, here is where you can benefit from recognizing a difference between fallen beings and avatars. Fallen beings have had a much longer time to build up frustration and so their anger is stronger. Their anger has actually become so intense that it crosses the line and becomes hatred. The difference is subtle and not so important. Hatred is, of course, much more intense and much more directed against specific outer conditions that you identify as being the cause, the main cause of the problem. For many fallen beings it is God that they hate because they think God is the cause of their problems. What you have is that many fallen beings have this intense anger against God but since they cannot do anything to punish God (which is what they want), they then take out their anger against other people and seek to punish them. That is why, when you as an avatar came to earth, they saw you as a threat and they attempted to punish you.

Avatars are angry at themselves

What is it you are really doing with anger? Well, it comes from the frustration that you do not have power to solve a problem. The mechanism that comes in is that if you experience that you can take out your anger on another person (and make that person feel as bad as you feel about themselves, make that person feel as bad about themselves as you feel about yourself), somehow that gives you a sense of having some kind of power. You do not have power to solve the problem that made you angry but you have power to make another person feel bad. It gives you a momentary relief where you feel that, after all, you have some power.

That is why you see some people (you see it even in spiritual movements, as Master MORE talked about) who can express what they think is blue-raying another person in order to awaken that person, but it is in reality their own anger they are expressing. If you really go deep into the psychology, you will see that because the fallen beings have had such a long time to create more and more selves, they hate other people, God the Ma-ter light, whatever.

For many avatars their hatred or their anger is directed towards themselves. They feel a certain frustration, and in many cases, in your mind, it can be a frustration with certain conditions on earth. Many times, for example, you feel that it is certain conditions on earth that are limiting you and making you feel bad about yourself. In reality, if you go deeper, it goes back to that shock you received of realizing that your original goal for which you came to earth cannot be fulfilled. Therefore, you feel anger against yourself for making the choice to come here: “How could I be so stupid to choose to come to this planet?” Many of you will see that you have created both the primal self and other selves to hide that. Now, that we have given you these teachings, some of you have come to actually be willing to identify that in yourself and it is very important that you do this.

The rest of this dictation, along with an invocation based on the dictation, is found in the book: Fulfilling Your Highest Spiritual Potential.