The outward-inward journey of the lifestream

TOPICS: The inner, mystical path

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Ascended Master Gautama Buddha, June 17, 2012, through Kim Michaels.

Infinity. Infinite realm. No form. No differentiation. All is one.

All is one, yet out of the infinite oneness begins to form a form, a shape, a crystalline structure and it takes on individuality, self-awareness. And then it tunes in to the very force that caused it to arise out of infinity, the creative drive of the Creative Being, the source of all, even the source of infinity.

As it gathers more self-awareness, it becomes aware of the drive to express itself. And then it sees that deep below is a realm of form that is not yet raised up into oneness with the All. It senses a potential, a love, a potential to express itself, to be creative, to bring God qualities, and it formulates a desire to be part of this rising world. Thus, it gathers itself, focuses itself and then it allows itself to slowly descend, like the leaf of a cherry blossom separating from the tree and wiggling its way down.

This self joins the material world, and at first it is only like a collection of water molecules suspended in the air. It is at first surprised that the air, even though air, is so dense compared to the infinite realm. It takes a little time to get used to this sense: “Who am I in this airy realm? Am I just a collection of water molecules or am I a whole, a unified whole?”

Then it sees that for it to fulfill its creative desire, it must descend even lower into a physical body in the material realm. It feels the concentrating force that is like the colder temperature that cools the air and therefore condenses the water molecules into a single drop that now separates from the air, can no longer keep itself suspended in the air and thus coalesces into a drop that drops from the air, hurtling down through the atmosphere until suddenly, with a great jolt, hits the rock and is shattered.

So great is the difference in density between the higher realms and the material realm, and the shock of coming into embodiment is like that of a water drop hitting the rock, being shattered into smaller particles—and then feeling that even though it would like to get its bearings in this new situation, there is a force that pulls it down, down, down. So it gathers itself into a drop again and it rolls off the rock, falls down lower, rolls off a bigger rock, keeps rolling until suddenly it sees another water drop that comes in its direction. They collide, they form a bigger drop, they keep being pulled down by this force and they join with other drops until they form a small trickle of water.

It starts to wind its way over the rocks, making a gentle sound as it progresses further but always in a downward direction. Then they are joined by other little trickles until they become a greater stream. Now they pick up speed and momentum, the sound escalates to a deafening roar as they become a small mountain stream, hurtling itself across the surface of the rocks, ever forward, ever downward.

“There must be something we have to reach,” is all they can reason. There must be something we have to find, we must go in this direction by this unstoppable force that is propelling us forward. They gradually form an even bigger stream and as it finally reaches a level of the mountain that is not as steep, then the individual drops can begin to feel that now they can again gather around themselves some sense of self-identity.

Although still being pulled downward by the current, they can at least begin to feel that they have some sense of individuality, of unity, of coherent existence, of continued existence. Even though they are still being tumbled about, they can still feel: “I am a self. I exist. I am aware of my individuality.”

The journey progresses. The single drops become gradually more aware of their surroundings, they watch the landscapes floating by, they see the twists and turns in the river, the protrusions of rock that caused them to change course. They begin to see certain patterns, they begin to gather some understanding of this world in which they are now moving.

Then they finally descend to the plain below the mountains where the river becomes wider, not so swift. Now they have better time to reflect upon this enigma they face. What is the world in which I am moving and what is the I that is moving? They gather up more and more awareness and more of an inner sense of tranquility as they flow with the river.

The river becomes wider, it starts carving wider and wider turns. Eventually, some of those turns get cut off, become a little dead end where some of the water drops become trapped for a time while others keep flowing with the stream. Just as they begin to feel that they know who they are and they know how the world works, then suddenly the river flows into the ocean. It is not a calm ocean, it is the Sea of Samsara, the sea of suffering, where now the water drops are rolled around with the ever-increasing waves until they lose whatever sense of being in control that they had.

This rotating motion, where a single drop is rotated in a circular motion of the wave, can go on for a long time. Some of the waves are eventually thrown up on a rocky coast where they are again separated from the whole, shattered into individual waves that then gradually find their way back to the ocean.

Over eons of time some of the drops begin to sense that perhaps there is an alternative to always being thrown about by some external force. They begin to question the reality that a drop can only be tossed about by the waves, that the drop must follow the wave wherever the wave goes. The drops begin to acquire a greater wisdom, not the wisdom of how to get what they want in the world, but the wisdom that enables them to begin transcending the world, the struggle that makes the Sea of Samsara a raging inferno of waves that often clash against each other or clash against the rocky shore.

Gradually, some of these drops begin to feel that they no longer want to engage in the struggle, but still they cannot quite let go of the sense that there is something they have to find, something they have to accomplish, some difference they have to make in this world. Instead of being thrown up on a rocky coast, they are now thrown up on a sandy beach, they are washed up on the beach, and they roll up on the sand until the upward momentum is exhausted and then they again become subject to the gravity that pulls them back into the ocean.

Many drops need to go through this motion many times, of being washed up on the beach, reaching some high point, some turning point, and then rolling back into the ocean, once again being rolled around by the waves only to be tossed up again, and repeating the motion over and over. Eventually, some of the drops begin to feel that there must be a way to even go beyond the sense of needing to accomplish something, needing to do something, even the sense of needing to wear down the coast by this repeated motion of going back and forth.

What do these drops do when they acquire what is the beginning of Buddhic wisdom? They begin to question reality, the reality of the of world in which they live, in which they have their being, the reality of the appearances. They see that even though I am a drop in the ocean, I do not have to follow along with the movements in the ocean.

I can go deeper, for instead of focusing my attention on the surface of the ocean, where the waves are constantly moving, I can focus my attention within. And as I do so, I start to go beyond the circular movement of the waves. I stop resisting, I stop resisting in order to stay afloat in the water. I become still and I allow myself to sink into the depth of the ocean.

When the drops sink below the surface level of the waves in motion, they sometimes become caught up in an ocean current, for they still have a desire to explore these deeper more still levels of the ocean of self. They desire to know the extent of the ocean, the movements, the deeper subtle movements of the ocean. For a time they flow along with one of these currents that gives them new experiences, new vistas, and therefore new reflections on the self. They are still in the process of exploring the nature of the self, by seeing how the self is reflected back to them by the cosmic mirror of the ocean.

They flow, they journey through these deeper realms that can seem infinite, but even then, after a time, a drop might come to the realization that there must be something beyond even the ocean current. The drop begins to question: “Is it necessary for a drop to always be moving?” Then, some of these drops become aware that they have had a long journey. All drops will forget, from time to time, their past stages on the journey, but when you come to the final stages, you begin to remember, not always in detail, but you begin to remember that you started out so long ago, so far away in a higher realm. Then you entered the airy realm, and then you coalesced into a drop and you fell.

From the moment you hit that rock, it was like you were on a journey, and you could not stop yourself. You were tossed about by various experiences, tumbling down the mountainsides, then into the stronger river, then into the more slow river, then into the ocean, then being rumbled around by the waves, thrown up on the rocky coast, thrown up on the sandy beach, then carried along by the currents.

Eventually, you begin to realize that you have had this long journey and that the journey has given you a perspective on the self, on who you are. You have not only learned something about the world in which you have journeyed, but you have learned something about the self that has undergone the journey. The self has been transformed by the journey so that it is more now than when it started.

Then, some of the drops begin to feel that they have had enough of the journey through the level of motion. They desire to return to the level out of which they came, the level of infinity. They see that they must stop identifying themselves with the motion, they must stop thinking that they have somewhere to go, something to do, something to accomplish in this world. Instead, they must become still.

Then, after going through some turmoil, they might begin to surrender themselves to the stillness. At first, they might feel: “But I have journeyed for so long and I have seen myself as a drop in motion, who am I if I am not moving? Will I have a self if I am not moving?” There might be fear and trembling, but still, eventually, they begin to realize that I started in the stillness, and so if my self is formed out of the stillness, how could I lose this self by returning to the stillness? Then, they begin to see that they can return to stillness without losing what they have gathered through their journey in the realm of motion.

Surely, the self that returns is more than the self that descended. But it returns by separating itself from the identification with form, the identification with motion and then it returns to the sense of self of being a still self, an unmoving self, an infinite self, an individualized expression of the infinite Creator. But now it has infinitely greater self-awareness than when it first descended.

The drop begins to realize that if it wants to return to the infinite realm, it is not a matter of doing or accomplishing anything in the realm of motion. It is not a matter of changing anything outside the self, it is not a matter of getting somewhere in the realm of the finite. It is only a matter of becoming still so that it again reconnects to the reality that it is borne from stillness and it has never left stillness. Stillness is the very backdrop for motion. Without stillness there could be no motion, and thus it finally begins to see the truth expressed in the statement that everything is the Buddha nature.

It begins to see: “I AM the Buddha nature. And I manifested as a certain individualized self that journeyed through a world of appearances, but these appearances were also the Buddha nature manifesting itself as those forms. Now I feel my journey is complete, and thus I desire to return to the realm of stillness as the self that I now am.” The drop can then withdraw its attention from the world of motion, the appearances that seem to move. It separates itself even from the currents in the ocean and it sinks down. It finally surrenders all motion and allows itself to sink, deeper and deeper into the ocean of self.

Yet, the ocean of self has no bottom. It will never sink to the bottom. Whilst it sinks deeper and deeper, it actually begins to go through the alchemical process of transcending the state of being a water drop. Now it begins to etherialize, and suddenly it cannot tell whether the movement is still going down or going up. Then, after some time, it begins to realize that it is now rising upwards, for it is being etherialized, first into the water molecules that again rise into the air and then back to the ethereal forms, the ethereal sense of self, that is now greater than the one that started this journey.

Oh the joy of returning to the stillness. You do not become nothing. You become “no thing,” for you no longer identify yourself with or as any thing. Nevertheless, you can now, if you so choose, take up the position as a Buddha that is still working with the lifestreams that are embodied on a planet like earth, seeking to in some way raise them up so that they can begin to awaken from the immersion experience, see that the appearances have no power over them, and thus they too can begin to feel the desire to return to stillness.

Yet once you have returned to the stillness, you will not be coming from a desire to force people or to change them or to accomplish any particular result. You will always be in the stillness, and thus you look upon the earth with entirely new eyes, with an entirely new vision where you see that none of the appearances are truly real. The only reality is the transcendence of self, through first being immersed in appearances, identifying with them and then gradually, through several stages, awakening from identification with form and returning to the stillness.

Thus, it is possible, even for a being who is still in the Sea of Samsara in a physical body, to begin to tune in to the stillness. Indeed, this expression, given from the heart of the Buddhas of the ages, is a tool, an opportunity, for those who are willing to begin to gain the perspective that they are not their present circumstances, they are not their present sense of self. Therefore, they can lock in to the immensity of the journey they have experienced, gain the perspective of their entire journey and thus begin to see that present circumstances are only a stage.

You can at any time flow beyond them, sink below them by ceasing to resist, by ceasing to struggle. It is only the outer self, the separate self that feels it has to continue to kick and move in order to avoid sinking, for it thinks it will drown. The true self will not drown in the stillness, it will find life, true life, in the stillness. You came out of stillness and you will never find true life in motion. You will only find it by returning to stillness—stillness, the stillness that I AM.

For I AM Gautama. I hold the position of the Lord of the World, and I am the being that holds space that makes it possible for those in embodiment to journey through form. Form must have space in order to exist, and so I am the nexus point between the realm of stillness and the realm of motion. This means that no man comes to the stillness save by going through the office that I AM. Thus, I extend this gift that you may use as you see fit. You may listen to it, you may recite it, you may immerse yourself in it, and thus the release is complete, for stillness has penetrated the appearances of the world of motion.

Stillness has made its presence known, and though the demons of Mara might rise up against it and your own ego might rise against it, you can visualize the Presence of the Buddha over you. Thus, you can reach out your hand, with my hand superimposed upon yours, and you can touch the earth and you can say: “Vajra! Vajra! Vajra! Vajra! Vajra! Vajra! Vajra! Vajra! Vajra,” affirming your right to be in the stillness while still being in a physical body.

When you do this from the point of stillness rather than the outer mind, you will experience that the earth will rise up and affirm your right to be the Buddha in embodiment. This is the potential all have, this is the potential for which I, Gautama, hold the balance, for I am holding the office that has only one purpose: to give people in embodiment the opportunity to awaken to the reality that they are already the Buddha.

All is the Buddha nature, for stillness is the backdrop of all motion. It is only a matter of whether you focus on the motion or focus on the stillness, for you have the ability to choose both, and the choice is yours. When you choose to focus on the stillness, then you will be the Buddha in embodiment. Gautama I AM.


Copyright © 2012 by Kim Michaels