Understanding the Norm of the Ego

Ascended Master Jesus through Kim Michaels.

There are some ego games that are very specific, and they are relatively easy to expose when they are outplayed in specific situations. There are other ego games that are more general, and they can be difficult to expose because they apply in many different situations, even in all situations. These general ego games often set the stage for the specific ego games, and they can impair your ability to see through and rise above the specific games. I will therefore begin by talking about one of the general ego games.

In order to help you understand this game, let us summarize what I have explained in the previous couple of discourses:

The ego wants to blind you to the existence of a higher reality that is beyond the dualistic thinking of the ego.

Once you are blinded by that illusion, the ego wants to keep you there indefinitely.

The ego wants you to go where it wants you to go without you realizing what is happening. It wants to take you down the staircase of life so gradually that you don’t notice the descent.

If you refuse to go further down, the ego wants to keep you standing still at your present level. Even after you start climbing back up, the ego seeks to stop your growth at any level.

It takes a distinct decision to stand up and start walking back up the staircase of life. The ego will do anything to prevent you from making such a LIFE decision.

What is the ego’s primary weapon in attempting to prevent you from making LIFE decisions and taking the next step up the staircase of life? It is that the ego seeks to make you accept a norm, a definition of what is considered normal behavior. The ego will then project into your conscious mind that as long as you stay within what it has defined as normal, there is no reason for you to do anything out of the ordinary, such as making a LIFE decision and taking a distinct step up the staircase. The ego wants you to believe that sliding down the staircase or standing still is normal behavior whereas taking a step up the staircase is abnormal and unnecessary, dangerous, forbidden or impossible. The ego’s message is: “Don’t rock the boat—just keep doing what you have been doing and what everybody else is doing.”

In this endeavor, the ego has a major ally, namely what some psychologists call the collective unconscious. We might also call it the mass consciousness or the planetary ego. When you look at society, you will see that many people live their entire lives within the norms of their particular society, blindly following the standards for normal behavior in anything from religion to fashion trends.

Throughout history, you will see that many societies have imposed various penalties for going beyond their norms. This can be drastic measures, such as being killed, deported, imprisoned or herded into railroad cars and taken off to a concentration camp. Or it can be less dramatic – and thus harder to expose – methods ranging from family and social pressure to simply not teaching people that there is a different way to look at life.

Once a society has created a state in which most people fear to go against or question the norm, that society has become rigid. There is little possibility of an internal change, which is why such societies often enter a downward slide that leads to their collapse, either through internal factors or an external enemy that conquers them. The Roman empire is a prime example, but many others litter the pages of history.

Historically speaking, very few societies have had norms that made it acceptable behavior to follow the spiritual path. Most societies have discouraged people from doing so—even – or perhaps especially – religious societies. That is why I was opposed, pressured and attacked from all sides when I started expressing my Christhood. All sincere spiritual seekers should expect that they will have to go beyond the norms of their society in order to pursue the spiritual path to its full extent. A spiritual seeker might as well accept the fact that spiritual growth is currently not seen as normal by any Western society. Once you expect to be abnormal – with whatever that entails in your particular environment – you are not as susceptible to your ego’s subtle attempts to make you stay within the norm—stay within the fold.

Beyond your society, you also need to be aware of the inner pressure created by your ego itself. Your personal norm is clearly affected by the environment in which you grew up, but it also has its own personal characteristics that your ego has carefully created over many lifetimes. These are designed to keep you following what your ego has defined as normal, and a spiritual seeker must be wiling to examine his or her norms. No one ever has been successful on the spiritual path without examining and questioning – and then transcending – his or her personal norms as well as the external norm of the environment. For a spiritual seeker, going beyond the norm should be considered normal behavior.

The carrot and the stick

The concept of a norm implies a median value, a sort of average. But a median exists only in relation to two extremes, as an average is found somewhere between a high and a low. The ego seeks to define its norm by setting up a high and a low:

The carrot is the highest you can attain, the wildest dream, your ultimate sense of happiness—according to the ego. Because the ego cannot see beyond the duality consciousness, it will define this high based on its own limited vision. Or it will define the way to attain this ultimate state based on its illusions. For example, many spiritual people have a somewhat correct vision in terms of thinking the ultimate goal of life is an exalted state in the spiritual realm. Their egos often manage to make them believe in the automatic path to that goal, as I explained in previous discourses. One obvious example is the belief that if you verbally confess Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior, then I will automatically take upon myself all of your sins and take you to heaven.

The stick is your greatest fears, the vision of the worst that could possibly happen to you. Again, the ego will define this based on its own illusions, and there will always be a clear element of irrationality. All fear is irrational, for when you truly experience the reality of God, truth will set you free from all fear.

In reality, the ego’s norm is a mental prison that is meant to keep you within the boundaries where your ego feels it can control you. The ego presents the norm as a safe zone that will guarantee that you attain your highest dream while keeping you safe from your worst fears. To use my previous example, as long as you believe Jesus will save you, you will be saved. As long as you do not question the doctrine of the vicarious atonement, you will avoid burning in hell.

The conclusion is simple. As long as you do not question the norm, including the carrot and the stick, you will stay within the mental box defined by your ego and no spiritual growth is possible. You will not begin to grow spiritually until you begin to question your ego’s norm. The ego, of course, will do anything it can think of to make you believe questioning the norm is dangerous, and you must be prepared to question the reasons for why you should not question the norm.

As I said, all fear is irrational, and all irrationality can be removed through proper understanding. The very key to any kind of progress is to seek understanding. As the Bible itself puts it: “With all thy getting, get understanding.” This is also why I often talked about those who have “ears to hear” or “eyes to see.” It is why I told people that if they seek, they shall find, if they ask, they shall receive and if they knock, the door shall be opened unto them. I know the fear of questioning the norm is very persuasive so let me attempt to give you the clarity that will empower you to conquer it.


NOTE: The rest of this dictation is available in the book Freedom from Ego Games.


Copyright © 2007 Kim Michaels