Ascended Master Padmasambhava through Kim Michaels, September 24, 2023. This dictation was given at a conference in Almaty, Kazakhstan—Being the River of Life in action.
I AM the Ascended Master Padmasambhava, which should come as no surprise after such a magnificent giving of my mantra 144 times, which certainly is not something that is done often on earth. Nevertheless, it is a powerful mantra and certainly you can experience that power by giving it nine times or 33 times or 108 times. But there is a special multiplication I can give when you give the mantra 144 times.
Encountering fallen beings
Now then, what is my aim? Well, my aim really is to continue on this magnificent discourse that Saint Germain gave, but also what other masters have given. Let us take the concept that Saint Germain gave that you each have a self that is very focused on yourself. What exactly is the self that this self is focused on? Well, it is a self that is defined in relation to earth. Whether you were an avatar who came to earth from a natural planet or whether you are one of the original lifestreams on earth, you have formulated a self in reaction, in response to current conditions on earth. When I say current, I do not, of course, mean this very moment. I actually mean the moment that you created that self, the conditions you were exposed to.
And we have given you this concept of the birth trauma, that is what avatars can encounter the first time you embody on earth and are exposed to the fallen beings. We have given you the concept of an earth trauma, that is what the original inhabitants are exposed to when they first encounter the fallen beings. Even though we use different words, the process is, of course, very similar, because what really takes place there is that you encounter certain beings, and at least some of them are in human bodies like yourself. You probably are not aware of the fallen beings and other octaves, the emotional, mental and identity level. You encounter these beings who are in physical bodies like yourself, who look similar to the other human beings you know, and who, up until a certain point, acted at least somewhat similar to other human beings.
But now you are in the situation where you are either physically attacked or tortured by these people, or you are emotionally or mentally humiliated, put down, made to feel inadequate, stupid, or many other such negative feelings. What happens in that situation is that, first of all, you realize that here are some people that look like the human beings you have encountered so far, but you suddenly realize they do not act like any of the human beings you have encountered so far. And why not? Because you realize they do not have the boundaries that normal human beings have, the boundaries for what they will do to others or rather what they will do to you. So far you have encountered people who followed whatever norms were in your society. And what is a society? It is a group of people living together and in order to live together, there has to be a certain code, a certain set of rules for how people treat each other. And as part of these rules, it is defined that there are certain things that you do not do as a human being.
Now, this is a double-edged sword as other masters have talked about. Every culture has a definition that you cannot be spiritual as a human being. You cannot be the open door for the River of Life. You cannot stand out from the crowd in various ways. The one side of it is that the culture defines that you cannot be a Christed being on earth. But on the other side, the culture defines there are certain things you cannot do to other people. You cannot harm them or violate them or torture them or put them down in various ways.
But now you are suddenly encountering people where you realize they have no boundaries. Their willingness to hurt you, to harm you, to destroy you psychologically is literally without boundaries. They are willing to do anything they can think of to achieve their goal. And then, you realize that their goal really is not to kill you. Their goal is to destroy you emotionally, mentally, psychologically, however you see it at the time. But you realize that they want to destroy you.
You may sense certain feelings from them that they hate you. And, of course, you cannot understand why: “What have I done?” And in many cases, you can look at a situation like this and say you did not do anything physical to these people. Why do they hate you? Why do they want to destroy you? And this, of course, is what many, many people have encountered in their past lifetimes. It is this experience that here are certain people who do not have normal boundaries and who have an almost unrestricted willingness to harm you.
The state of shock
And you can see when you look at history of how people have attempted to deal with this—the problem of evil as it is called—and this is for many people based on personal experience. What happens here is that when you encounter this situation, it is so shocking to you that you are overwhelmed. You are emotionally overwhelmed. You are mentally overwhelmed. You are overwhelmed at the identity level because you cannot understand why this happened to you. You often have two questions: “Why did this happen to me? Why are they doing this to me?” And we can put it this way that, in some cases, you go out of embodiment after such an experience. They literally kill your physical body. In other cases, they torture you and then you are still in embodiment, perhaps in jail, perhaps just thrown up into society, being severely wounded, certainly emotionally wounded. But in any event, you have some time after this event to try to process it, to try to find some way to go on living.
There are many people who, after such an event, actually lose their desire to live, lose their will to live. They almost give up and they want to no longer be alive, no longer be conscious. But, of course, the physical octave or planet earth in general is a rather merciless environment. You can wish yourself to not be in embodiment and yes, you can kill your physical body to go out of embodiment, but before you know it, you are back into another body. You can wish yourself to be unconscious, but it is very difficult to make yourself unconscious. Some people go into using chemical means or other means, but still regardless of what you do, you cannot escape the need to process this experience and somehow deal with it. And how do you process an experience?
Well, you create a separate self. You create a subconscious self or, in most cases, you really create several, but nevertheless, let us simplify. What is the purpose, what is the function of this subconscious self? Well, ultimately it is to help you still be conscious, still be alive and be able to stand it. You can stand being alive, stand being conscious. And this means that this separate self must try to do two things. First of all, push the experience out of your conscious awareness so you are not overwhelmed. But it must also try to explain the experience so that you can deal with living on earth despite the fact that you know these things can happen. What can this self use to explain the experience? Well, only what is available to it in the culture where the experience happened.
The hidden agenda of fallen beings
And this is why you see, when you look at this historically, how this problem of evil has been so difficult for people to deal with. Because when you look back in known history, you will see that the religions, the philosophies that have existed have not given a clear explanation of what evil is and why it exists. And why have they not done this? Because they have been influenced by the fallen beings. The fallen beings, when they came to earth, they had one overall agenda. They wanted to take control over the earth. This had three elements.
First of all, they had to hide their own existence. They had to hide the fact that they are here. And that some of them are in a physical embodiment but that there are fallen beings in the emotional, mental and identity realm. They have projected these philosophies and religions or they took whatever was there when they came and distorted it in order to hide that there are these beings who are fundamentally different than other human beings. Why these beings exist, where they came from, why they are allowed to come to earth, what psychology they have? But they have also hidden that there are other realms besides the physical—the emotional, mental and identity realm, and that there are fallen beings in those realms as well who are seeking to control human beings.
The other thing they needed to accomplish was that they needed to, as much as possible, cut the earth off, cut human beings off from receiving direct input from beyond the four levels of the material universe, the spiritual realm. This, of course, in practice means they had to cut people off from receiving direct input from the ascended masters because we are and have been, since the very beginning, the very beings who were assigned to assist the lifestreams on earth in their growth. This is what they had to do.
Then, the third thing was that they had to prevent any person from reaching a certain level of consciousness because when you reach a certain level of, whether you call it Christhood or Buddhahood, you attain this discernment. A discernment that is not based on intellectual reasoning, but is based on a direct experience of, what we now call, the River of Life, but which can be called other things and has been called other things. When you experience that there is a reality beyond the appearances on earth, it is not a matter of arguing for or against, you just know this what is beyond earth is real and this idea and that idea and the next idea coming from the fallen beings, this is not real. You also know that there are beings who are entirely benign and, therefore, you can see that there are certain beings who are not like human beings, who are actually evil. And this means, of course, they cannot hide their existence from you and if you expose this to the people, they cannot stay hidden. They do everything they can to prevent people from reaching a certain level of discernment, Christhood, Buddhahood, spiritual growth, whatever you prefer to call it. And how do they do this?
Avatars: the balancing factor on earth
Well, I just said that they expose people to this very severe trauma and if you look at humankind, you can see that there are eight billion people almost on the planet and not all of them have been exposed to this kind of severe trauma. And why not? Because they have not been a threat to the fallen beings. You also see that almost all people have been exposed to some form of trauma and this is because when people are traumatized, they are much easier to control because they must create these separate selves to deal with the trauma. But when it comes to avatars or those original inhabitants who have started reaching higher level of consciousness, then, the fallen beings have a special treatment they will reserve for such people, such beings. And this is a much more targeted, personal attack. And what is the aim of the attack?
Well, it is, of course, various things, but let us here focus on the situation of many avatars. Avatars are quite different in their motivation for coming to earth in the level of consciousness they had before they came. But what we can say is that when the ascended masters decided to allow fallen beings to come to earth, this was not a simple decision to implement because the fallen beings were allowed to come here to serve as substitute teachers, as we have said, because so many people on earth could only learn from the School of Hard Knocks. And if there is one thing fallen beings are better at than ascended masters, it is to give people hard knocks because we respect free will.
There was a very complicated equation that was put into action when the fallen beings were allowed to come here. And it was basically this, that the fallen beings would not be allowed to disturb the balance on earth more than a certain amount to a certain degree. And this is difficult to envision, but let us just take the image of the scales where there are two bowls hanging from this apparatus. If you put weight in one bowl, it tilts, the whole scale tilts. Here you have one bowl, you put a fallen being there and it tilts down. But this could disturb the balance of the planet, so what do you do to avoid it? You put an avatar in the other bowl and if the avatar has a similar level of attainment from a natural planet that the fallen being has, not really attainment, but the negative attainment, then it evens the scales.
The fallen being is on earth, it can do whatever fallen beings do and harm other people, but it cannot accelerate the downward spiral that the earth was in when the fallen beings came. Neither can the avatar reverse the downward spiral because it is balanced by the fallen beings. This maintains the, we might say, state where it is up to the original inhabitants of the earth to decide whether the earth continues to go down or goes up. In other words, the fallen beings are not deciding the future of the earth, the avatars are not deciding the future of the earth.
“You cannot ignore us”
What do you have now? Well, you have some avatars that came to earth specifically to hold the balance for specific fallen beings. This means that the avatars had some awareness—yes, you forget this with the outer mind—but you can reconnect to it intuitively that you need to keep yourself, we might say, in a state of purity. There are certain activities on earth that you cannot allow yourself to engage in. This is just something you sense intuitively. In other words, you cannot allow yourself, of course, to do what the fallen beings do, but you cannot really allow yourself to go into fighting the fallen beings because, then, you cannot hold the balance.
What this actually means is that you have a certain intuitive sense that you should stay away from the fallen beings. You should avoid engaging with them. Again, this does not go for all avatars, but it certainly goes for some. What is it that the fallen beings do when they attack you? Well, basically, what most avatars on earth have seen is that they see what is going on earth, they see what the fallen beings are doing, and they know they do not want to engage in this. They want to stay clear of this, which means they basically try to ignore the fallen beings.
But this, of course, is not what the fallen beings want because if you ignore the fallen beings, you are holding the balance for the fallen beings. If you stay clear of a certain fallen being, you can still hold the balance so you even the scales. And the other thing is, of course, that fallen beings are thinking they are very, very important, so the worst thing they can encounter is somebody who does not think they are important but just ignores them. And, of course, a fallen being can sense that an avatar has light, more light than they have, so they do not want avatars to ignore them.
Basically, you may think there are outer reasons for why they attack you personally. There may be a specific situation, as described in the My Lives book, where they are trying to drag you into feeling responsible for something that happened. Or you may feel they are attacking you out of pure hatred. But the deeper reason why they are attacking you is to say to you: “You cannot ignore us. You cannot live your life on earth as if we were not here. You have to react to us.” And that is why they attempt to put you in a situation where you are exposed to such severe abuse that you cannot ignore it. That you are, so to speak, forced to react. You are forced to come to this moment of realization, this hitting the concrete experience, where you experience that there are these beings who have an unrestricted willingness to destroy you. And when you acknowledge this that these beings exist and that they are targeting you, it is impossible not to react.
“What did I do to deserve this?”
None of us who ever came to earth as avatars have been able to avoid reacting. It does not matter what kind of mythology you build up about Jesus or the Buddha or this or that teacher being so special. Nobody could avoid reacting. This was, of course, foreseen by the ascended masters, but it was also foreseen by many avatars because we could see that even though this was a very difficult situation, it was still an opportunity for growth for us.
Not to go into too complicated of a consideration about this, what I want to stay with is this: When you were exposed to this attack, you created this self. You created more selves, but let us just simplify—you created this self. And what is the very central psychology of this self? It is that something happened to you that was so severe that you could not ignore it, but really that this something affected you in such a way that you cannot just walk away from it. You cannot just let it go as if it did not matter at all. You see, the fallen beings are saying: “You cannot ignore us because we are so important.” You build this self. Why did you build this self? Because even though they are the ones who are attacking you, you as an avatar, you feel responsible for everything you do on earth. You feel responsible for even being here. You feel there must have been some reason they attacked you. And, of course, there was. You are an avatar. You have life. They do not want you here.
But you feel there must be something in you, about you, about what you did or who you are, that caused them to attack you. And that is why you cannot just let it go. You see what Saint Germain said? You have this self that is focused on yourself and this is what the fallen beings managed to cause you to create. Because you are saying, basically: “What did I do to deserve this?” You think there must be something about you that caused you to be attacked this way and you think you need to figure out what it is. And until you figure out what it is, you cannot let go of the situation.
And this, of course, is heavily reinforced by projections from the fallen beings who tie into this desire you have when you come to earth that you want to improve conditions on earth. You want to make a positive difference. And when they expose you to this trauma, they often cause you to feel that: “Oh, I shouldn’t have done something.” Or you feel: “I shouldn’t have reacted this way.” In other words, they cause you to go into this thinking that there was something you should have done differently, either a physical action or your psychological reaction to the situation. You should have been able to do better.
“I need to fix this problem”
Now, you have this self that says: “There is something wrong with you on earth. You did something wrong or you are a wrong kind of person. You have no right to be who you are. You have no right to be here. You shouldn’t have made this or that mistake.” In other words, you now feel, even though they attacked you, you feel somewhat responsible either for what you did or how you reacted. But, of course, you were not responsible. But do you see the psychological mechanism? It is because you think there was something wrong with you that you cannot just let it go. You think, as all selves project, that there is a problem you have to solve. And until you have solved the problem, you cannot let the situation go. And this caused many avatars to then engage with the fallen beings, to try to study the fallen beings and their psychology and find out why did the fallen beings do what they did: “Why do they hate me so much? Why do they think I am wrong, that I am a bad person, that I shouldn’t be here?” All of these things. Because you think that if you can understand them and why they attacked you, maybe you can remedy the situation. Maybe you can change them so they do not hate you anymore, so they do not want you off the planet, so they do not think you are a bad person.
You see, there was a specific situation when this happened to you, each one of you. You, each one of you, had your own individual reaction to it. You created your own personal self based on it. But the central mechanism is the same. You feel something happened that was a problem. You are partly responsible for that problem, therefore, you are responsible for fixing the problem. And you feel that as long as you cannot, as long as you have not fixed the problem, you cannot let it go. But what is really happening there is, that in effect you are saying: “I can’t let go of the fallen beings. I can’t leave the fallen beings behind. I can’t ignore the fallen beings until I fix the problem.” And this is, of course, exactly what the fallen beings want.
They want you to not ignore them, but they also want you to engage with them because, then, you can make karma with them, you can be involved with them lifetime after lifetime and you are not holding the same balance against them that you were holding before. They can drag you down and, therefore, cause the scales to tip towards their side, which means they can influence more people and gain more control of the planet. It still does not mean that they can influence the future of the planet because if they get some avatars to engage with them, then obviously the ascended masters, the Karmic Board, will send other avatars so the balance is still there. This is why the fallen beings have not destroyed planet earth.
The self-focused self
But the problem, of course, becomes how can we, as the ascended masters, now help those avatars who have become embroiled with, entangled with the fallen beings. And as Saint Germain said, all of the teachings we have given you on these subconscious selves, separate selves, are really leading up towards this point where you can see that when you were exposed to this trauma, you created this self that is very focused on you. Before you came to earth, or even before you were exposed to this trauma, you were, as an avatar, not focused on yourself. You were focused on how you could help the people on earth, how you could help raise the earth. You were focused outside yourself. But after you are exposed to this severe trauma, you become focused on yourself.
Now, this is a little tricky because many avatars, of course, still retain their sense that: “I am here to do something.” Avatars generally engage in activities that somehow help humanity progress. But the thing is, once you have created this self that is focused on you, everything you do is done through that self and relates to that self. You may be engaged in a seemingly altruistic activity, but you are doing it from the viewpoint of this self-focused self, where it is again: “How does this reflect on me?” You are always sensitive to other people’s reactions.
Many avatars reacted by feeling that: “Oh, I am here to help other people, but the fallen beings hate me, and most people just ignore me because they can’t understand what I am trying to teach them. But this must be because I am not good enough at approaching people on earth. I must change myself so that I can reach people.” You now go into this pattern of reacting to conditions on earth. You are reacting to the fallen beings: “Perhaps I can make them not hate me.” You are reacting to human beings: “Perhaps I can make them listen to me.”
But you are reacting now. And this is what this self-conscious self does. It causes you to react because you are always trying to achieve something outside your own mind, something that involves other people with free will, some fallen beings, some human beings, but you are trying to change something out there. In other words, instead of being like the sun which is radiating its light, you are still radiating light, but you have in your mind that the light should produce a certain result. And your self-focused self is evaluating everything based on: “Am I achieving the result or not?” This is clearly reactionary.
Now again, for each one, as you begin to unravel this, and as many of you have already used the teachings and the tools, you will see that you have your own individual specific view of this. You sort of have an image of who you are in relation to earth: Why you are here? What you can achieve? How you can achieve it? And this is very individual. It is necessary for you on an individual basis to uncover this in yourself. We cannot give a dictation where we explain this for each one, partly because it would take a long time, but also because if we give even some examples of this, you might think: “Oh, then my self must be like that.” But it is not. They are all individual. But you can, of course, by using our tools, uncover what it is for you each one.
You cannot fix this problem
But what I want to focus on here is that regardless of the specific characteristics of these selves, the basic psychology is exactly the same. There is a problem you must solve, and until it is solved, you cannot let go of the situation. You cannot let go of the self. You cannot let go of the fallen beings. You cannot let go of human beings. You cannot let go of earth. It is as Saint Germain said: “You are holding on to something.” You might have resolved other things in your psychology, but there is something you are holding on to. And the essence of why you are holding on is this sense that there is something you have to fix, something you have to change before you can let go.
And, of course, this is an impossible situation. Because the something you need to change is based on a situation that might have taken place two million years ago. And that situation is no longer there in the physical. It cannot be changed. How will you ever fix the problem? Well, some will say: “Well, I can make the fallen beings not hate me. I can make human beings listen to me.” And, yes, you could potentially do that. But the problem here is that, is it actually possible to make the fallen beings not hate you as an avatar? Is it possible to make human beings listen to you? Well, yes, that is possible. And theoretically, it is possible to change the fallen being. But still, even if you were to change a fallen being, even if you were to make human beings listen to you, would that make you feel that you had solved the problem? And this is what you need to come to realize, that it would not. Why not? Well, look at earth. You may have caused some fallen beings to change their mind about you. But there are still fallen beings on the planet who are doing all kinds of things. You may get some people to listen to you, but there are billions of other people that will not listen.
Let these reactionary selves die!
You have a simple question to ask yourself: “Do I want to stay on earth until the last fallen being is either reformed or gone, and until all human beings are willing to listen to a spiritual teaching? Or do I want to make my ascension now or in the next lifetime?” You have free will. You can stay with earth as long as you want. But many of you have been attracted to these teachings precisely because it is in your Divine plan that you ascend after this lifetime or in the next lifetime. This is what you need to tune in to. You could say, as an avatar, you came to earth to turn the earth around, put the earth in an upward spiral that brings it towards becoming a natural planet. And this is a doable goal. Yes, it is a doable goal. It is an attainable goal. But you look at the planet right now, and you see that even though Saint Germain is talking about the Golden Age, there is still a long way before the earth becomes a natural planet.
The question is, again, how long do you want to stay with earth? But even if you feel that you want to stay with earth until some positive change has happened, you still can benefit immensely from looking at this dynamic we have talked about. Because as long as you have this self-focused self, first of all, you will not have the maximum impact on the earth because you cannot really be an open door for the Holy Spirit and the River of Life as long as you have this self-focused self. But moreover, you cannot enjoy being here because you cannot be free of the past. You are still in a reactionary mode, reacting to the fallen beings, reacting to human beings, even reacting to yourself reacting to earth. You have layers of reactionary selves. You create one reactionary self that causes you to react a certain way, an unbalanced way. In order to deal with that, you have to create another reactionary self that reacts to your first reactionary self and this can go on with layers upon layers. Whether you want to ascend now or stay with earth, the question is, again, do you want to be free of this reactionary approach to life on earth?
And if you do, you need to look at this self-focused self. And what you need to do is take the teachings we have given, contemplate them, whatever works for you individually, use whatever invocations there are. But you really need to contemplate this, that the self says that: “Something happened in the past that was a problem, and you cannot leave the earth behind or your own past behind or the fallen beings behind until you have fixed the problem.” But you need to come to see that the problem that is defined by this self is entirely unreal because it was produced by the manipulation of the fallen beings. And everything they do is a lie. Everything is an illusion. Whatever clever arguments they come up with, it is all smoke and mirrors. And when you come to see this, that is when you can look back to what you are holding on to on the riverbank and you can see: “There is no problem to solve, there is no problem I want to solve. It’s impossible to solve the problem and I don’t want to think it’s possible anymore.” And that is when you can open your hand, or rather your mind, and just let it go.
Let it all go!
Before that happens, you need and you will be confronted with what Jesus called the prince of this world, what the Buddha called the demons of Maya. And you have the story of the Buddha sitting under the Bo tree being ready to go into Nirvana and as the last initiation he needed to be confronted by the demons of Maya. And, as we have said before, the real test of this was could they get him to react? But how could they get him to react? If he thought there was a problem he had not fixed. If he thought: “I can’t just leave the fallen beings behind.” And what these demons will do, what the fallen beings will do, is they will scream at you or they will whisper clever arguments in your ear: “You can’t just leave us behind. You can’t just walk away from us. You can’t ignore us. We are so important.” They will even project at you that you are only important in relation to them. If you leave them behind, you are not important anymore. All kinds of clever arguments.
But you need to somehow come to the point where, you look at this, you see it and you say: “I have had enough of reacting to these fallen beings. I am leaving you behind. I am leaving the problem behind. I no longer want to fix it or compensate for it or explain it or understand it. I don’t want to understand the fallen beings. I don’t want to change the fallen beings. I don’t want to understand human beings. I don’t want to change human beings. I just want to be who I am in the time I have left on earth and then, I want to ascend.” And you can come to that realization when you are right at the ascension point. The Buddha came to it as he was sitting there ready to go into Nirvana. Jesus came to it when he was hanging on the cross and gave up the ghost. The ghost was this self, that there was something he could not leave behind on earth. But there is no law that says this has to be the last thing you give up on earth. You can theoretically give it up anytime. And many of you have been working on yourselves for so long that you can within a foreseeable time, foreseeable future, come to that point of giving this up.
And this is the ultimate freedom on earth. When you can be on earth, you can be in the world but not of the world because you are not reacting to anything on earth. And this is, of course, what we desire to see. Of course, for all people, but realistically, it is more the ascended master students who have been willing to make use of the teachings we have given in this dispensation that have the potential to achieve this. And all of you have this opportunity. Some of you may feel like it is far from you, you still have so much work to do, but you still may also have some time left on earth, right? Why wait till the last minute? Why make this the last thing you can give up on earth? Because if you can give it up earlier, then not only will it be much more enjoyable for you to be on earth because you are free of this burden, but you will also have a much greater positive impact on raising the collective consciousness. And many of you have this in your Divine plans, that you want to have the biggest possible impact in this, your last embodiment. And you are willing to do whatever it takes to get to the point where you can have that impact.
Many of you have already taken many steps in that direction. You did not know consciously what was the goal you were moving towards, but now you do. You can accelerate your progress. All of the tools we have given are valid. We may give more tools, but you do not need to wait for that because you already have tools that can help you deal with this issue. And it is not really a matter of mechanically using tools. It is a matter of creatively looking at yourself and your own reactions from different angles until you see why you are so self-focused, why there is that one thing you cannot let go of.
This is what I wanted to give you at this conference. I am grateful for the opportunity. I have enjoyed being with you, being one with many of you who are able to step outside of your outer mind and not just listen to a dictation, but truly experience and absorb it, looking beyond the words, connecting to the stream of consciousness that I AM, that is behind the words, that is producing the words. I hope that you have enjoyed my Presence as I have enjoyed yours. And with this, I seal you in my love and my gratitude.
Copyright © 2023 Kim Michaels